Your lawyer threatened to sue if I fire you for gross incompetence. So I decided to let you stay. "And we've moved to an alphabetical system for awarding 'Employee of the Month'. This is your month." "Stupid alphabet."
"Wally has a laziness disability. If you fire him, I will sue you for violating labor laws." "Furthermore, he is part endangered butterfly, on his mother's side." "As we speak, he's looking for a workplace hazard to roll around in."
"Wally, I've documented all of your disciplinary issues in your personnel file." "You have violations for every letter of the alphabet except Z. For some reason you missed that one." Zzzzzz