Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

Perfect Skin

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Perfect Skin - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags perfect skin, digital filter, panda, perfect, real, fake, ears, snout, personal appearance

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dilbert in front of laptop: your skin looks so perfect...are you using a digital filter of some sort? voice from laptop: no, this is the real me. frame changes to panda in pink dress in front of laptop. dilbert's voice from laptop: and what about the panda ears and snout? panda thinking: awkward

New Loyal Customers

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New Loyal Customers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, meeting, ceo, woke, advertising, dollars, loss, quarter, offend, straight face, botox, annoying

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ceo: our strategy of being annoyingly woke in our ads caused us to have an eight billion dollar loss this quarter. but it was worth it because sometimes you have to offend some of your customers to make the others loyal. dilbert: how did you say that with a straight face? ceo: no one told you about botox?

No Purpose

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No Purpose - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags beauty, deck, creation, water, hydrate, well-being, no friends, no purpose, better

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dilbert: i just spent thirty minutes admiring the beauty of the slide deck i created yesterday. i'm going back for another round after i hydrate. voice from outside frame: what's it like having no friends and no purpose? dilbert: it's a lot better than you'd think.