Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"I want you to write a business case for lobbying our government to attack Elbonia." "In the risk analysis section, do you want me to assume that hell is real or imaginary?" "Real. But remember to discount the infinite future flows of agony to the present so it doesn't look so bad."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

We discovered that the mud in Elbonia is caused by an abundance of oil and coal near the surface. "Our country will be prosperous and happy forever unless we do something incredibly stupid." "Are you building any weapons of mass destruction?" "Why? Is that a problem?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Dilbert, I have a little project for you to do in your spare time." "What exactly is my 'spare time'?" "Well, for example, there's the time that normal people would use for dating." "And since you're not dating, you can trim a few minutes from your hygiene schedule too." "Then there's the time you spend daydreaming about a fulfilling life." "That's exactly like stealing from the company." "And your stupid questions - Those have to take at least an hour a day." "Are my questions stupid?" "Not as bad as your answers."