Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags career criminal, appkying, job, tendonitis, pistol whipping arm, slower paced, lifel, embezzle, job security, business

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Your resume says you're a career criminal. "Yup." "Um...why are you applying for a job here?" "I'm getting tendonitis in my pistol-whipping arm." "I thought I'd try the slower paced life of white collar crime." "Security." "How much can I expect to embezzle in my first year?" "Earl?" "Lefty!" "Forget this job. Security is where the big money is." "Can you get me in?" "I should start locking my desk."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hammerhead bob, expert, many topics, not welcome, converstaion, irritable, dadelion root, cramp root

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Hammerhead Bob "Hey, what are you talking about? I'm an expert on many topics." "Try to get this through your thick head: You are not welcome in our conversation." "Irritable, eh? Try cramp bark and dandelion root."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hammerhead bob, start butting into private lives, sense annoyance

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"Great. The only seat is next to Hammerhead Bob." "I'm learning ESP so I can start butting into people's private thoughts." "I sense annoyance, yet there seems to be no cause."