Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cubicle cockroach, working hardly, kill it, flame thrower

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"Good morning, Alice!" "Uh-oh, a cubicle cockroach." "Are you working hard or hardly working? Ha ha!" "I must find a way to kill it." "Do you have a flame thrower?" "I can't complain; no one would listen!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags accused of stealing, computers, took the fifth, job interview, lied, stole

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Why did you leave your last job? "They accused me of stealing four computers." "Did they make you confess?" "I took the fifth."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ted snadwhich, left in breakroom, marked ted, lost weight, anger, red faced

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"I'll be right back. I'm going to grab a Ted sandwich before the meeting." "A what?" "The food people always leave one sandwich in the break room fridge labeled Ted. It tastes like ham." "You're looking good, Ted. Have you lost weight?"