alice on video call.
alice: please stop leaning into the camera while chewing the end of your pen. it makes me want to drive to your house and shove that pen up your nose.
male office worker: but you won't do that, right?
alice: what's your address?
tina: i have a complaint about the men in the office.
catbert: all of them?
tina: yes, they're all stupid pigs.
catbert: can you be more specific?
tina: okay, they're basically visayan warty pigs in the i.q. range of 20 to 40.
dilbert and dogbert at home.
dilbert: good news. i made a friend at work.
dogbert: have you checked his social media posts?
dilbert yelling: he's a monster!
dogbert: that's why we check.