Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags life coach, unmotivated, unorganized, dolt, confusing

View Transcript

Transcript

"I'm dogbert, your life coach. I'm here because you're an unmotivated, drifting, unorganized dolt." "Life coach? I didn't ask for a life coach." "Which part of the "unmotivated, drifting, unorganized dolt" is confusing you?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags beta version, archive option, way you ask, try yelling

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: The beta version looks great. Now ask if they'll tss in an archive option for no extra money. Dilbert: "That's a great idea. Or...maybe I could save time by the realizing that they aren't raging morons who enjoy working for free." The boss: "It's all in the way you ask." Dilbert: "I'll try yelling."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags eagles can't fly

View Transcript

Transcript

"Wally, the status report that you e-mailed me is blank." "That;s because eagles can't type." "What?" "The motivational poster in the break says I should be like an eagle." "The point of that poster is that your spirit should soar like an eagle while you continue to do mundane work." "Wouldn't I die if my spirit left my body to go soar?" "You're confusing your spirit with your soul." "While your spirit is soaring, your sould should remain, trapped in your body, slowly decaying while you create your status report." "Would it change anything if I got a poster that says "you want it when?!!""