Dilbert.com by Scott Adams
Sunday July 18,
2004
Tags berating, humilation, importance of work, making sound rate products, motivate staff, no prasie, no raises, threats belittling, trophy wives
Transcript
The boss; I need help motivating the staff. Catbert: what have you already tried? The Boss: Threats, belittling, humiliation, empty promises, berating, slogans , posters and bullying. Catbert: hmmm...we can't praise them or they'd as for raises. Catbert: Maybe they can be motivated by the importance of their work. The boss: their work is making second rate products to sell to idiots so our executives can afford trophy wives. Catbert: have you tried yelling until your face turns purple? The boss> make three copies, please!!!! Carol: This is new.
Saturday July 17,
2004
Tags stock plunged, acquire compnay, few shares, sit in cubicle
Transcript
Dogbert: Your stock just plunged on the news that you're going to acquire another company. Have you noticed that your stock goes down whenever you do anything? I'll buy a few shares if you'll agree to sit motionlessly in your cubicle.
Friday July 16,
2004
Tags negotiations, legal liabilities, revenue, patents, public credit, dig swimming pool, use spoon
Transcript
Negotiations Dilbert: so far we've agreed that my company will take all the expenses and legal liabilities. Dilbert: your company will take all of the revenue, patents and public credit. But where it says I"ll dig you a swimming pool with my bare hands I will not do that. You win! You can use a spoon!


