Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

Dogbert Crisis Consultant

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Dogbert Crisis Consultant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, subordinates, allegations, crisis, consultant, statement, lying, dumb, believe, public, legal, defense

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dogbert: my job as a crisis consultant is to help you respond to the allegations from seventy-three of your past and present subordinates. i'll issue a statement from you saying everyone of them is lying. ceo: who would be dumb enough to believe that? dogbert: i call them "the public."

Ceo Is Accused

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Ceo Is Accused  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, complaint, managers & supervisors, subordinate, accuse, inappropriate, crime, hug, defense, legal

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catbert: seventy-three subordinates are accusing you of inappropriate behavior. ceo: i don't see what's so "inappropriate" about threatening to ruin a subordinate's career unless i get a hug. catbert: you know that's a crime, right? ceo: maybe i shouldn't handle my own defense.

Wally's Advice

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Wally's Advice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags advice, audience, business, complain, connection, droopy, emotion, emotional intelligence, entertainment, hate, medical, persuasive, problems, sad, sarcasm, self-deprecating, slide deck, spouse, technology, tragic, wife

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boss: if there anything i can do to make my slide deck more persuasive? wally: you need to make an emotional connection with your audience. start with a tragic personal story that makes everyone sad and droopy. then talk about your various medical problems, and don't spare the details. then complain about your wife because most people hate their spouses too, so they can relate. and don't spare the self-deprecating humor because everyone can relate to knowing you are a loser. boss: wow. thank you for that advice. i'll make those changes. dilbert: how much do you hate him? wally: it's more about my entertainment.