Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags headphones, britney spears, slap him, singing, outloud

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Wally is listening to his headphones in his cubicle and sings aloud, "Oops, I did it again.." Wally gets up and dances. He thinks, "With headphones I sound exactly like Britney Spears." Alice and Dilbert lean over the cubicle wall and watch Dilbert dancing. Alice says, "I'd slap him but I don't want to touch him."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags headphones in offcie, humming, wishing luck, inconsiderate, drumming fingers

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Transcript

Wally has headphones in his hand. He says to Dilbert, "From now on, I plan to wear headphones in the office." Wally puts them over his ears and continues, "I'll be drumming my fingers and humming all day, I might even whistle." Dilbert says, "Inconsiderate #%*!$" Wally says, "I can't hear you, but I assume you're wishing me luck."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags performance review, objectives, play computer, solitaire, drink coffee, valuable lesson, reading documents, signing, games of solitaire, something new, employee of month

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Transcript

The Boss walks down the hall and thinks, "I hate today.. I hate today." The Boss takes a seat by Wally in the conference room and thinks, "Wally's annual performance review." The Boss says to Wally, "Let's compare your objectives with.." The Boss pauses and then continues, "What the...?" The Boss says, "Apparently your objectives are "play computer solitaire and drink coffee." Wally says, "I hope you're learning a valuable lesson about reading documents before signing them." The Boss responds, "Okay, we'll use what we have. How many games of solitaire did you win?" Wally says, "Win? I didn't know you could win. Is that something new?" After the meeting, Dilbert approaches Wally and says, "He made you employee of the month?" Wally responds, "He thinks he signed a warning for my file."