Dilbert.com by Scott Adams
Sunday August 04,
2002
Tags meeting, start with prayer, fear no downsizing, fist of death, job skills, investment protfolio, doing well, higher return, escape clowns, stew in bile, business
Transcript
Alice addresses a meeting, "If there are no objections, I'd like to start the meeting with a prayer." Asok starts, "I'm a...." Alice prays, "Yea, though I walk through the valley of idiots, I shall fear no downsizing." Asok starts, "But I'm..." Alice continues praying, "For I have a fist of death and highly marketable job skills." Alice continues praying, "But my investment portfolio isn't doing as well as I'd hoped." Alice continues praying, "So, if it's not too much to ask..." Alice continues praying, "I need a higher return so I can escape these clowns." Alice exclaims, "And live in splendor while they stew in their own bile!" After the prayer, The Boss responds, "Maybe we won't do this again." Alice responds, "Whatever you say, heathen."
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Saturday August 03,
2002
Tags dreaming about work, sleep at work, dreaming, sleeping, freaking out, considered work, pills
Transcript
Wally lies on a psychologist's couch and says, "I can't stop dreaming about work." Wally continues, "And I usually sleep at work, so I'm dreaming about sleeping and it's freaking me out." The therapist asks, "Have you considered doing work?" Wally responds, "I want pills. You Quack."
Friday August 02,
2002
Tags budget cuts, customer service, pranks calls to elderly, neighbor, treasure buried, under lawn
Transcript
Dilbert reports to The Boss, "Our budget cuts are affecting customer service." The Boss asks, "How much?" Dilbert continues, "Our customer service center spends all day making prank calls to the elderly." A customer service representative says into the phone, "According to our records, your neighbor has treasure buried under his lawn."

