Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags be charming, more important, project thwarted, seriously hound her, unhelpful, woman, application, boss advice

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A woman says into the phone, "I'll get to your application as soon as I have nothing more important to do." Dilbert is on the other end of the line. He says, "Okay.. thank you very much." Dilbert hangs up the phone and thinks, "I just thanked someone for doing nothing." Dilbert enters The Boss' office and says, "My project is being thwarted by a woman who gets satisfaction from being unhelpful." The Boss responds, "Have you tried using your charm?" Dilbert says, "I guess I can try." The Boss replies, "Ha ha ha! Just kidding." The Boss says, "But seriously, try hounding her until she recoils in pain at the sound of your voice." Dilbert asks, "Will that work?" The Boss replies, "Sometimes the best you can do is make other people feel bad."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags refreshed, vacation for boss, calm and relaxed, burn clothes, wally sat in chair, cooty squad

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The Boss walks back into his office and thinks, "I'm refreshed from my vacation." The Boss sits in his chair and thinks, "I am calm and relaxed." Carol says, "Wally sat in your chair." The Boss' chair is being lifted out by members of the Cooty Squad. One of the Cooty Squad workers says to The Boss, "We'll have to burn your clothes too."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags temporary boss, revamp, project staus, color codes, confess, only one idea, emabrrassing

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Transcript

Wally addresses a meeting, "My first act as temporary boss is revamping our project status color codes." Wally points to a slide and says, "Red, yellow, and green will be replaced by white, off-white, and eggshell." Wally continues, "I have to confess, it was embarrassing to realize I only have one idea."