Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags written objectives, hidden objectives, smothered with defectiveness

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Wally, "Wally, you have failed to achieve any of your written objectives." The Boss continues, "But by pure chance you achieved all of my hidden objectives." The Boss hands Wally a piece of paper and says, "Here's another project I need smothered with defectiveness." Wally responds, "I'm all over it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags competitive compensation, competitive means not highest

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert and Alice, "According to this survey the compensation here is 'competitive.'" Dilbert responds, "Competitive means not the highest. So we could get paid more if we worked at another company?" Dilbert continues, "Should we continue working as hard as we can or should we back off to a more competitive level?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags serve food, homeless on christmas, extra hungry, one day, news crews arrive

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina says to Dilbert, "I'm signing up volunteers to serve food to the homeless on Christmas day." Dilbert responds, "How do you know in advance that they'll be extra hungry on that one day?" Tina responds, "Our P.R. firm makes sure they don't get fed for two days before the news crews arrive."