Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cubicle time, isn't productive, set priorities, projects flounder, big raise, either way, cubicle

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Alice, "Alice, may I have a word with you?" The Boss continues, "You're not spending enough time in your cubicle." The Boss continues, "It looks as if our department isn't productive." Alice responds, "But.. I can't do my job from my cubicle." The Boss replies, "You have to set priorities. Looking productive is very important to this department." Alice clenches her fists in anger. Alice exclaims, "Will I get a big raise for looking busy while my projects flounder?!" The Boss replies, "You won't get a big raise either way." The Boss continues, "Here's a blank piece of paper to carry back to your cubicle." Alice clenches her fists again and cries, "GAAA!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags eliminate vacation days, increase sick days, make themselves sick, evil, hr

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Asok works in H.R. Catbert says to Asok, "If we eliminate vacation days and increase sick days..." Catbert continues, "Would the employees fall for our trap and make themselves sick to get days off?" Asok exclaims, "What?!!" Catbert says, "You're in H.R. now. It's okay to be evil." Asok replies, "Evil, right."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags asok in hr, harassment compliants, alice, caboose, psychic powers

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Asok Works in H.R. Catbert says to Asok, "Asok I want you to handle all the harassment complaints." Asok records Wally's complaints. Wally says, "And as I left the room I could feel Alice's eyes checking out my caboose." Asok says, "So... you have psychic powers?" Wally responds, "My eyes are up here, pal."