Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags music in offcie, can't concentrate, turn it down, drive you nuts, complain, cubicles, separation, desks

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert leans over the cubicle wall and says, "Could you turn off the music? I can't concentrate" to the coworker next to him. The coworker replies, "How about if I turn it down to a level where it still drives you nuts but you're too shy to complain a second time?" Dilbert says, "Thank you." The coworker says, "It might creep up over time."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dogcart consults, create a strategy, increase market share, change, valuable advice

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Dogbert Consults. Dogbert says to The Boss, "It's easy to create a strategy." Dogbert continues, "Write down everything you do, preceded by the phrase, 'increase our market share by...'" The Boss asks, "What if we change what we do?" Dogbert responds, "Call me and I'll sell you some more valuable advice."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags job market, bad job market, how hard, unemployed, leader

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is sitting at his computer. The Boss approaches from behind and asks, "How's the ol' job market lately? It's pretty bad, isn't it?" The Boss continues, "So no matter how hard I make you work it's still better than being unemployed." Dilbert turns in surprise. The Boss says, "Who's your leader? Go on, say it." Dilbert puts his head in his hands and replies quietly, "You are."