Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ideas, naive, whats wrong, pat your head, condescending, empty handed

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Dilbert stands in the boss' office. Dilbert says, "So that's my idea. What do you think?" The boss says, "Dilbert, you are so naive." The boss says, "There are many things you don't understand." Dilbert says, "That's because you never tell me anything!" The boss says, "Dilbert, Dilbert, Dilbert.." Dilbert says, "Like now for example!" Dilbert says, "Jeepers Cripes! Just tell me what is wrong with my idea!" The boss motions to the side of his desk and says, "LEan over here so I can pat your head in a condescending way." Dilbert and Dogbert sit on their couch at home. Dogbert says, "So you took the pat?" Dilbert says, "I didn't want to leave empty-handed"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags lawyer, court, dilbert, whistle blower, emplyer, aaplets, cookie data, competing protals, jury selction, hungry, legal

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Lawyer: Okay whistle blower, explain to the jury the alleged crimes pf your employer. ...Then our applets were designed to corrupt cookie data from all competing portals. Dilbert: Nice jury selection, Lawyer: So far you've made them hungry.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags internal email, use integration, leverage, communication, perjury

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Lawyer: can you explain the meaning of this internal email message? Dilbert: It says we'll "Use integration tools to leverage the utility of our enterprise- wide processes. Dilbert: It appears to be something we call communication. Lawyer: Perjury!