Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

Everyone But Ted

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Everyone But Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, project, success, thank, twice, hear, slow, coffee, sarcasm

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dilbert video conferencing: i'd like to thank everyone who made the project a huge success. except for ted, who made everything twice as hard as it needed to be. ted: i can hear you. dilbert: you're slowing us down again, ted.

Height Advantage

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Height Advantage - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags company, employement, fired, height, hiring, managers & supervisors, pay cut, short, tall, video conferencing, zoom

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boss video conferencing with carl: carl, i hired you because you are tall, but now it doesn't matter because everyone looks the same height on zoom. your height advantage has disappeared, so today will be your last day with the company. carl: maybe instead you could cut my pay to the same level as short people. boss: that just might work.

Astrology Filter

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Astrology Filter - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags apathy, astrology, business, incoherent, sense, strategic, technology

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dilbert looking at laptop: your strategic technology plan was incoherent. i had to run it through an astrology filter to make sense out of it. boss video conferencing: and? dilbert: it says you are "full of taurus" and your plan "is a cancer." boss: sounds right.