Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags interfered with project, empowering employees, bonus, real boss, body in dumpster, boss acting unusual

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Dilbert and The Boss. Dilbert says, "You haven't interfered with my project in weeks. Something must be wrong." The Boss responds, "I believe in empowering my employees and staying out of the way." Dilbert, in a surprised manner, says, "Am I going to find my real boss's body in a dumpster?" The Boss says, "There's extra money in the budget. Would you like a bonus?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags conversation, cubicle, dwellers, shut up!!, alice, impatience

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Two employees talking outside of Alice's cubicle. Alice says to the employees, "Excuse me. I couldn't avoid hearing your converstaion outside my cubicle." Alice continues, "I think I speak for a lot of cubicle dwellers when I say..." Alice yells, "SHUT UP!!" Both employees are pushed backwards by the force of Alice's yell.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags goal to motivate, build global satellite netwrok, feel sdifferent, right, energetic feeling, pinned, burning couch, dizzy, budget cuts

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Transcript

The Boss and Dilbert sit at a table. The Boss hands Dilbert a piece of paper and says, "This is the goal that will motivate you for the next year." Dilbert reads from the piece of paper: "'Build a global satellite network. Budget: $12,000.'" Dilbert looks at the Boss and says, "Motivation feels much different from what I imagined." Dilbert continues, "I was expecting a light, energetic feeling." Dilbert continues speaking and illustrates with his hands, "But it's more like being pinned under a burning couch." Dilbert puts his hand to his head and says, "Whoo, I'm getting dizzy." Dilbert stands up slowly and says, "I'd better lie down until the motivation wears off." The Boss leaves the room with Dilbert lying on the table. The Boss says, "He's going to be trouble during the next round of budget cuts."