Search Results for "bottle caps"
Share June 25, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert enters Video Date, Inc. Dilbert sits across from a desk. A man smoking a cigar explains, ". . . Then we film our clients so prospective dates can screen each other for compatibility." The man continues, "For an extra fee we supply special effects to make you appear more manly. Our most popluar theme is where we dress you in a loin cloth and you rip the arms off an Arnold Schwarzenegger dummy while bombs explode nearby!" Dilbert asks, "Gosh, don't you have something that will make me look sensitive and caring?" The man thinks. The man says, "Okay . . . We dress you up as Mary Tyler Moore and have you bottle feeding this plastic dying dolphin." Dilbert replies, "No, too sensitive. Suppose we say the dolphin just has a bad cold . . ."
Share January 06, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert walks into a drug store and asks the pharmacist, "Do you have something for a headache?" The pharmacist hands Dilbert a bottle and says, "I'm pretty sure this will do the trick." Dilbert says, "Thanks." The pharmacist thinks, "I wonder if he meant something to GET RID of a headache. Nah . . ."
Share January 30, 1990's comic on:
Dogbert says to Dilbert, "While you were wasting your time at work I came up with a million dollar idea." Dogbert shows Dilbert a bottle with a doll on the top. Dogbert says, "It's the 'Madonna Sun Tan Lotion Applicator' for lonely guys!!" Dilbert says, "I'll take one." Dogbert says, "It looks like Barbie on a stick, but it's Madonna."
Share September 15, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert tells Dogbert, "To me, a woman is like a fine bottle of wine." Dilbert explains, "Each one is familiar, yet distinctive and special." Dogbert says, "In the wine of life, some people are destined to be cork-sniffers."
Share September 26, 1990's comic on:
Dogbert lies on a couch and says to a therapist, "I haven't been able to cry over Dilbert's death." The psychologist takes notes. Dogbert continues, "I really miss him, but I keep my sorrow bottle inside." The psychiatrist asks, "Did you know that dogs can't legally inherit from humans?" Dogbert bawls.
Share April 12, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert stands in the bathroom looking in the medicine cabinet. He has a headache. Dilbert holds a bottle and reads a label that says, "Do not use if seal is broken." Dilbert thinks, "Great . . . How are you supposed to get the pills out?"
Share May 16, 1991's comic on:
Dogbert says, "As long as you're here, Ratbert, I could use your help." Ratbert says, "At your service!" Dogbert opens the refrigerator and says, "I'd like you to test the stuff in the fridge and see if it's dangerous." Ratbert's head is stuck inside a ketchup bottle. He says to Dogbert, "Put a question mark by ketchup." Dogbert marks his clipboard.
Share June 14, 1997's comic on:
Dilbert tells Wally, "Someday it will be possible to clone or boss." Wally replies, "But the clone would have no experience and no knowledge." The Boss tells them, "I just sent an e-mail message to Japan. I don't know the language so I took your advice and typed it all in caps." Dilbert says, "Wow. That put it all in perspective."
Share October 08, 1997's comic on:
Alice is telecommuting. She's dressed in a bath robe and sitting at the table with some food and a speaker phone. The voice on the telephone says, "How do you like telecommuting, Alice?" Alice says, "It's good, except I've developed a tendency to snack." Alice tosses her head back and takes big gulping drinks from a bottle. The voice says, "I'm sure you'll keep your discipline." Alice says, "I LOVE Zesty Italian dressing." Alice burps.
Share April 01, 1998's comic on:
Headline: Catbert: Evil H.R. Director. Alice says to Catbert, "I'm not enjoying my job." Catbert hands Alice a bottle of pills and says, "Take this powerful anti- depressant drug for the rest of your life." Alice responds, "I didn't know H.R. could prescribe drugs." Catbert says, "I'd hate to live in a world where that was illegal." Alice reads the bottle aloud, "Boss-proof cap."