Search Results for "better than other people"

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Keeping The Worthless People

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Keeping The Worthless People - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Dilbert Teaches The Dumb People

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Dilbert Teaches The Dumb People - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Crypto Key

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Crypto Key - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Tags #ceo, #Wally, #cryptocurrency, #wallet, #disappeared, #private, #key

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CEO: I put five thousand dollars into the cryptocurrency wallet you created for me and it disappeared! You're the only other person who knew my password and private key. Wally: That's not true. I shared them with Dilbert to create reasonable doubt.

Award For Cutting Costs

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Award For Cutting Costs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Tags #ceo, #award, #cutting, #costs, #department, #underfunded, #losers, #awards, #help

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CEO: I am proud to give you this award for cutting costs more than any other department. Dilbert: All of our projects failed because they are underfunded. CEO: How do you put up with these losers? The Boss: The awards help.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 14, 2018's comic on:


Tags #carol, #Wally, #computer, #problem, #crumbs, #crosstalk, #protocols, #help

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Carol: Wally, can you help me with a computer problem? Wally: People usually don't ask me for help. Carol: Why is that? Wally: You'll find out. Carol: I can't log in to the server. Wally: I'll need to ask you a few questions. Have you ever eaten food near your computer. Carol: Um... Yes. Wally: That's your problem. Wally: Your crumbs are causing crosstalk on the protocols. Carol: Is this why no one asks you for help? Wally: It's in the top ten.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 07, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #man, #criticizing, #face, #head, #arrogance, #toxic, #personality, #garbage, #plague, #legs, #truth, #power, #behind, #back

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Man: I heard you were criticizing me behind my back. Try saying those things to my face! Dilbert: Okay. You're a hot-headed know-nothing who uses his arrogance to mask his total lack of talent. You ruin every meeting with your toxic personality. Every project you touch turns to garbage you're like a plague with legs. Man: Okay... That was harsh, but I respect you for speaking truth to power. Dilbert: You don't have any power. Man: Maybe it's better if you talk behind my back.

Slavery Or Work

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Slavery Or Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 03, 2018's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Wally, #Dilbert, #alice, #succeed, #nitpick, #slavery, #choice

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The Boss: We can only succeed if every one of you gives one hundred percent. Wally: I don't mean to nitpick, but wouldn't that technically be slavery? The Boss: No, because you have a choice. Wally: Didn't you just say the other choice is failure?

Coworkers Getting Dumber

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Coworkers Getting Dumber - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Tags #Catbert, #Dilbert, #imagination, #co-workers, #dumber, #know

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Dilbert: Is it my imagination or are my co-workers getting dumber every day? Catbert: They aren't getting dumber. You're just getting to know them better. It looks the same.

Dogbert's Pep Talk

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Dogbert's Pep Talk - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 15, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #virtual, #forget, #real, #people, #inadequate, #talk

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Dilbert: I'm worried that if I spend too much time using virtual reality, I'll forget how to talk to real people. Dogbert: I doubt you could get more boring and inadequate than you already are.

Candor Monster

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Candor Monster - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 05, 2018's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #carol, #radical candor, #therapy, #criticism, #monster

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The Boss: My new system of using "radical candor," is working out great. I've been criticizing people all morning and only three of them went into therapy over it. Now I turn my candor to you. Carol: Die, monster!