January 2007 Comic Strips - Page 2

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sales engineer, #making sale, #install, #few extra features, #massage table, #sprawl, #get naked

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Sales Engineer Sales engineer: I did the hard part of making the sale. All you have to do is install it. I might have promised them a few extra features. Did you bring your own massage table or should I just get naked and sprawl on a desk?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineer, #magic vendors fault, #network, #shoebox, #twigs and leaves, #engineering

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Client: Your network product appears to be a shoe box full of twigs and leaves. Sales engineer: Hoho! Just wist util my engineer does his magic and integrates it with your network! Make it look like another vendor's fault.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #product with netork, #run cable through shoebox, #twigs and leaves, #cat 5, #cat 6

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Sales Engineer I've successfully integrated our product with your network." "It might look as if all I did was run a Cat5 cable through a shoebox full of twigs and leaves." "Is that all you did?" "A Cat6 cable would be overkill."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #actual meeting, #day after meeting, #pre meeting, #thursday, #evil, #underpaid

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Did you set up my pre-meeting for Wednesday? "Yes. It's on Thursday." "You scheduled my pre-meeting for the day after the meeting?" "That was the only day that everyone could make it." "There's no point in having a pre-meeting after the actual meeting." "Sure there is. You can talk about how much better the meeting would have been if you had been prepared." "Here comes the pointy-haired boss. You'd better scurry away before he gives you more work." "There's a fine line between evil and underpaid."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sugared donuts, #online, #every week, #plain donuts, #plain, #ratbert, #licks

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Dilbert: Every week I order sugared doughnuts online and every week they deliver plain doughnuts. Dogcart: Those aren't plain. Ratbert licks the sugar off of them when they arrive. Dilbert: I work in a cubicle. I can get used to this too.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #password recovery, #basic, #123, #guessed, #average, #spooky

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Dogbert's password recovery service for morons The Boss: I don't remember my password. Dogcart: Is it '123'?" The Boss: That's just spooky.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #password recovery, #morons, #forgot password, #nostrildogmas, #messed password, #psychic

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Dogbert's password recovery service for morons Ned: I done forgot my password. Dogbert: What's your name? Ned: My name is Ned, I think. Is your password 'Ned'? Ned: Sweet baby jeepers, you're like some sort of Nostrildogmas!" Dogbert: Here's a brochure for my cult.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #staff meeting, #posting, #six sigma methods, #eliminate gap, #waste of time

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The Boss: Carol, schedule a staff meeting. Carol: What's the topic?" The Boss: I plan to fuse Six Sigma with lean methods to eliminate the gap between our strategy and our objectives. Carol: I'll just say 'Waste of time'.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #close the gap, #good at something, #jump ahead, #strategy and capabilities

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The Boss: We need to find a way to close the gap between our strategy and our capabilities. Wally: Why don't we just pretend we're good at something and call it our strategy.Sorry...Didn't mean to jump ahead.