October 2017 Comic Strips - Page 2
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Character
Wednesday October 11,
2017
Dogbert Won't Teach Persuasion To Dilbert
Tags negotiating, persuasion, help, altruism, selfishness
Transcript
Dilbert: Can you teach me to be more persuasive? Dogbert: What's in it for me? Dilbert: It will make you feel good to help a friend. Dogbert: Does it feel as good as denying you? Dilbert: I have no way to know. Dogbert: Bah!
Thursday October 12,
2017
Dilbert Is Bad At Negotiating
Tags negotiating, haggle, trick, deception
Transcript
Dilbert: I want you to lower your price, but I don't know how to negotiate. Man: It's easy. All you need to do is offer to pay more than the list price and wait for me to counteroffer. Dilbert: Okay... I'll pay twenty percent over the list price. Man: You win! Sign here.
Friday October 13,
2017
Being Ineffective
Tags negotiating, haggle, training, conference, skills
Transcript
Boss: Why are we paying so much for this software? Dilbert: Because you didn't let me take a class on negotiating like I asked. Boss: Are you using this as leverage to get approval for the class? Dilbert: No, I'm just being ineffective. Does it look the same?
Saturday October 14,
2017
Dogbert's Negotiating Class
Tags negotiating, deception, sales, manipulation, deal, business
Transcript
Boss: I approved your request to take a negotiating class. Dilbert: Why did you change your mind? Boss: The instructor offered a great deal. Narrator: Earlier that day. Dogbert: Would you like to spend other people's money to get rid of Dilbert for a few days? Boss: Sold!
Sunday October 15,
2017
Tags memory, notes, forgetting, reminder, forgetfulness
Transcript
Dilbert: Can you review the project plan in the shared folder before Monday? Man: Absolutely. Dilbert: I don't see you making a note to remind you later. Man: I'll remember. Dilbert: How many other tasks are you trying to remember at the same time/ Man: About seventy. Dilbert: And yet you will remember this one? Man: Have some faith, Wally. Dilbert: My name is Dilbert. Man: What were we talking about?
Monday October 16,
2017
Initial Coin Offering
Tags ico, cryptocurrency, bitcoin, jargon, language
Transcript
Dilbert: Maybe we should do an initial coin offering, or ICO. Boss: What's that? Dilbert: It's a non-equity process for raising capital that uses a custom crypto-currency and the blockchain. I might be wasting my time here. Boss: So... it's a chain made out of coins?
Tuesday October 17,
2017
Explaining Block Chain To Marketing
Tags jargon, explanation, teaching, language, education
Transcript
Alice: This would be a perfect application for blockchain. Man: I'm in marketing. Can you explain that in terms I can understand? Alice: I kinda doubt it. Man: Because your a bad explainer, right?
Wednesday October 18,
2017
Boss Doesn't Understand A Word Of It
Tags presentation, rude, polite, etiquette, comprehension
Transcript
Dilbert: And that's my presentation. What do you think? Boss: I didn't understand a word of it. Dilbert: You could have mentioned that an hour ago. Boss: Didn't want to rude.
Thursday October 19,
2017
Boss Is The Common Variable
Tags managing, managers, failure, common denominator, Advice, performance, motivation
Transcript
Boss: Every one of my employees is underperforming. What should I do? Catbert: You should fire yourself because you're the only common variable. Boss: I hadn't considered that. Catbert: That's how I know I'm right.
Friday October 20,
2017
Listening To Your Gut
Tags rumor, accusation, skeptic, gullible, gut instinct
Transcript
Boss: People tell me you're underperforming. Dilbert: Did you hear it from anyone credible? Boss: No, but I know it's true because my gut tells me it's true. Dilbert: I'm curious where you stick you head to listen to your gut?
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