October 2019 Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Dilbert Is Bad At Reading Faces

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Is Bad At Reading Faces - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, psychology, over sleeping, pancakes, hungry

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i'm not good at reading faces. what does that one mean? man: it means i'm mad at myself for over sleeping and having to rush to work, so i hate your guts. dilbert: oh. i was guessing it was something about pancakes. probably because i'm hungry.

Busy To Mentor

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Busy To Mentor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, criticism, managers & supervisors, mentor, busy

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i'm sorry i've been too busy to mentor you lately. dilbert: were you mentoring me before? boss: kind of. i was criticizing you in my mind. dilbert: i think it made me a better person.

Best Employees

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Best Employees - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, managers & supervisors, best, office workers, industry, attitude

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: we have the best employees in the entire industry. except for ted obviously. ted: wait...what? boss: and here comes the attitude.

Body Language Fail

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Body Language Fail - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, body language, fail, deny, psychology, monster

View Transcript

Transcript

female office worker: i can tell by your body language that you want me to fail. dilbert: why would i want you to fail? female: you're not denying it!!! dilbert: well, now i want you to fail. female yelling: you're a monster!

Project Update

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Project Update - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, project, update, plan, read, imaginary

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: did you send me your project update? dilbert: were you planning to read it? boss: no dilbert: then i totally sent it too you boss thinking: half of my job is imaginary

Work Life Balance

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Work Life Balance - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, interviewee, interview, employer, company, healthy, work, life, balance, victim

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: tell me what you are looking for in an employer interviewee in suit: i want a company that appreciates a healthy work-life balance. boss: you have a bit of a victim vibe interviewee: i was hoping that didn't show

Self Reliant

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Self Reliant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, project, teamwork, help, teach, self-reliant

View Transcript

Transcript

boss to wally: ted says you wouldn't help him on his project. wally: i was teaching him how to be self-reliant. that's important too, isn't it? not such an easy question, is it?

Business Agility Influencer

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Business Agility Influencer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, business, agility, solution, meaningless, useless

View Transcript

Transcript

ted: hi, i'm a business agility influencer and solutionist wally: i don't think that means anything ted: why are you the first person to spot that? wally: because i'm useless too!

We Already Have A Carl

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
We Already Have A Carl - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, interview, skills, confuse, employee, names

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i can't hire you because we already have an employee named carl. it would confuse people, and we don't need that. interviewee: what about my skills? boss: people with better names have skills too.

Microaggressions

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Microaggressions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, human resources, micro aggressions, hire, engineer

View Transcript

Transcript

catbert: someone reported you to human resources for all of your micro aggressions dilbert: what would be an example of one? catbert: it doesn't matter dilbert: it feels as of to should matter catbert: this is why engineers never get hired for human resources