November 2017 Comic Strips - Page 2

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Barry Dingle

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Barry Dingle - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags questioning, correct, incorrect, explanation, answer

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Boss: Sorry I'm late. Barry Dingle keeps hanging around my office and asking hard questions. Dilbert: You don't know the answer to any hard questions. Boss: That's why it takes so long. Dilbert: So... you just spout nonsense until he leaves? Boss: That's my go-to strategy for most situations.

Boss Ends Neural Interface

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Boss Ends Neural Interface  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags mind control, technology, invention, amnesia, forgetting, memory loss

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Dilbert: We removed the neural interface to your brain. Do you remember anything we made you do? Boss: No, not a thing. Dilbert: That's probably for the best. Boss: Did I break any laws? Alice: Not according to the cop you dated for three days.

Wally Works On Stealth Clothing

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Wally Works On Stealth Clothing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags invisibility, attendance, deception, laziness

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Boss: We won a bid to design stealth clothing for the military. Wally: Ooh! Ooh! I volunteer to work on that project. Boss: Um... okay. Narrator: One month later. Boss: Your attendance has been poor lately. Wally: Here's where I teach you about "reasonable doubt."

Barry Dingle Asks About Blockchain

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Barry Dingle Asks About Blockchain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags questioning, time, quick question

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Barry: I see you're off your phone. Can I pop in and ask a quick question? Boss: Yes, but only if it is quick. Barry: Oh, it will be. Boss: Okay, make it quick. Barry: What is blockchain and how will it influence our strategy across all product lines?

Wally Likes Sitting

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Wally Likes Sitting  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, standing desk, health, sitting, standing

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Boss: The company has authorized the purchase of standing desks for employees who want them. Wally: Literally the only good thing about this job is that I can do it while sitting down. Boss: How did you get to this meeting? Wally: Your chair doesn't have wheels?

Wally's Watch Is A Snitch

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Wally's Watch Is A Snitch - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags wearable tech, health, surveillance, fitbit, monitor, fitness, attendance

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Wally: I can't come to work today. I'm totally sick. Boss: According to your employee health monitor, you're not sick at all. Wally: Stupid snitch!!!

Brain Scan

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Brain Scan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags brain, thinking, cognition, personality, abnormality, psychology

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Wally: My doctor says my laziness is caused by a brain abnormality. Dilbert: Doesn't everyone in the world have a unique brain that determines what they do? Boss: Is he right about that? Wally: I'd have to see his brain scan. Sounds like a tumor.

Watch That Monitors Health

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Watch That Monitors Health - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags health, wearable tech, fitbit, fitness, monitor, surveillance

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Boss: Our new product is a watch that monitors every aspect of your health. Wearing the watch is mandatory for all employees. Your data will automatically stream to our cloud storage. Voice: Because you care about our health? Boss: Sure. We'll go with that.

Threatening Wally

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Threatening Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, excuse, threat, ultimatum

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Woman: Wally, did you finish the data scrub? Wally: No, a defect in my brain made me too lazy. Woman: Perhaps some sort of threat would get you going. Wally: It's worth a try. Woman: Do your work or else I'll tell everyone you're useless! Wally: That would save me a lot of time.

Wally Not Motivated

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Wally Not Motivated - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, motivation, behavior, medical, treatment, blame, accountability, psychology

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Wally: I need to take a medical leave to recover from my crippling laziness. Boss: Laziness is a behavior problem, not a medical problem. Wally: That would suggest you have not motivated me enough. Boss: Can't be that. It sounds more like you're dying.