November 2007 Comic Strips - Page 2
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Character
Tuesday November 20,
2007
Tags borrow pen, need pen, order pen, order pens, parasitic arrangement, supplies, stingy, selfish, dysfunctional offcie, office supplies, fill out form
Transcript
Dilbert: "Can I order some pens?" Carol: "No, it's impossible." "You need a pen to fill out the pen request form. And if you have a pen, you're not allowed to order one." Dilbert: "Maybe I could borrow your pen." Carol: "That sounds like some sort of parasitic arrangement."
Monday November 19,
2007
Tags Dogbert, consultatnt, lies or truth, manage engineers, earthworm juggle, premium price
Transcript
Dogbert Consults Dilbert: "Do you want me to lie to you for $400 per hour or give you the truth for $200?" The Boss: "I'll take the truth." Dogbert: "Okay, the problem is that having you try to manage engineers is like having an earthworm try to juggle." "How's my premium pricing option sound to you now?"
Sunday November 18,
2007
Tags career day, classroom, guest speaker, Dilbert, engineering, tells all, explaining things, to idiots, make decisions, misinterpreting, massic=ve problems, rumors overwhelm, assign blame, unpopular
Transcript
Career Day Teacher: "Class, today Dilbert will tell us what a career in engineering is all about." Dilbert: "My job involves explaining things to idiots.""Then the idiots make decisions based on misinterpreting what I said." "Then it is my job to try and fix the massive problems caused by the bad decisions." "Eventually rumors overwhelm facts, and I give up." "In the final phase, I assign blame to a unpopular coworker." "So whatever you do in life don't be unpopular." Teacher: "Don't listen to him!" Dilbert: "Said the unpopular teacher."
Saturday November 17,
2007
Tags mordac, information services, biometric scanner, scream, password
Transcript
Mordac: "I am Mordac, the preventer of information services, and I bring you my newest biometric scanner." "Instead of a password, I put this on your head and squeeze until you scream in a way that only you can scream." "No, that's not you." Dilbert: "GAAA! GAAA! GAAA!"
Friday November 16,
2007
Tags mordac, reventer, information services, complete log in, stare directly at sun, computer message
Transcript
Mordac, the preventer of information services. Mordac: "Security is more important than usability." "In a perfect world, no one would be able to use anything." Asok: To complete the log-in procedure. Stare directly at the sun.
Thursday November 15,
2007
Tags flash, java script, website, fast guy in tights, movie about coffee, code words, remember, technology
Transcript
The Boss: Then we program the web site using a fast guy in tights and a movie about coffee. "Correct me if I'm wrong." Dilbert: "We use flash and java script." "I said 'IF'!!!"
Wednesday November 14,
2007
Tags develop good attitude, job, invigorated, busy work, relabel, toner cartridges, business
Transcript
Asok: "I'm trying to develop a good attitude about my job." "Every morning I tell myself I am invigorated by busywork." The Boss: "Asok, I need you to relabel the toner cartridges." Asok: "Woo-hoo!"
Tuesday November 13,
2007
Tags useless, mit degree, engineering, easier, raise
Transcript
The boss: "I don't understand anything you do, so I assume it's all useless." Dilbert: "Maybe you could go to M.I.T. and get a degree in engineering so you would understand what I do." The boss: "Would that be easier than not giving you a raise?"
Monday November 12,
2007
Tags tech support, asks customer, information, transfers call, same questions, barrier to progress, other guy
Transcript
The Boss: "Asok, I need you to fill in at tech support for a few days." "You'll be the guy who asks the customer for information, then transfers the call to another person who asks exactly the same questions." Asok: "Wouldn't that make me a barrier to progress?" " The Boss: Only if the other guy actually helped."
Sunday November 11,
2007
Tags favor, comments, article, go away, wait util tomorrow, hope, worthless, extra work, worsen results, ignoring needs
Transcript
Tina: "Wally, can I get your comments on my article by tomorrow?" Wally: "Sure." Tina: "You say, 'sure,' but we both know it's a lie." "You just want me to go away." "You plan to wait until tomorrow and make an excuse." "Then you'll hope I'll give up." Wally: "Yes, but remember, my comments are always worthless, they would cause you extra work and worsen the result." "So if I give you nothing. Everyone wins." Tina: "In that case, thank you for ignoring my needs." Wally: "It's the least I could do."
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