November 2019 Comic Strips - Page 3
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Character
Wednesday November 20,
2019
Elbonian Spy
Tags business, managers & supervisors, elbonian, spy, engineers, economy, intellectual, property, collaborate
Transcript
boss: i hired an elbonian spy who, i assume, will try to steal our intellectual property. it's hard to find good engineers in this economy, so that is a risk i am willing to take. dilbert, i'd like you to collaborate with him. dilbert: can we call it something else?
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday November 21,
2019
Software Specs
Tags managers & supervisors, software, specifications, business, problem, unclear
Transcript
boss: how long will it take to write the software? dilbert: that depends. what do you want the software to do? boss: i don't know yet. dilbert: do you see the problem here? boss: is it you?
Friday November 22,
2019
Ceo Visits
Tags managers & supervisors, ceo, office, questions, visit, eyes, dead, business
Transcript
dilbert: our ceo will be visiting the office tomorrow, so act busy. and don't look directly at him because i don't want him to see how dead your eyes look. dilbert: can we ask him questions? boss: no, nothing good can come from that.
Saturday November 23,
2019
Feeling Loyal
Monday November 25,
2019
Reporting To Two Managers
Tags managers & supervisors, reporting, vp of sales, project, business, hate
Transcript
boss: dilbert, you'll be reporting to the vp of sales for the new project. you will also be reporting to me as usual. dilbert: congratulations on making me hate my job more than ever. boss: and you said it couldn't be done.
Tuesday November 26,
2019
Conference Call
Tags office workers, business, conference call, meeting, useful, don't care
Transcript
wally: how did your conference call go? dilbert: normal. it took us twenty minutes to get everyone connected, followed by forty minutes of garbled speech that no one understood. the meeting ended when everyone got tired of pretending something useful was happening. wally: i didn't really care.
Wednesday November 27,
2019
Flag Me When You Are Done
Tags office work, flag, burden, rude, business
Transcript
dogbert: i find it a burden to listen to you. maybe you could wave this flag to signal when you are done talking just in case i want to say something. dilbert: you are very rude. dogbert: flag me when you are done with whatever this is.
Thursday November 28,
2019
Humans Getting Wiser
Tags business, psychology, humans, dumb, selfish, wise, interact, people
Transcript
dilbert: the more i interact with people, the less i like them. i can't tell if i'm getting wiser or humans are becoming dumber and more selfish. dogbert: humans couldn't get any dumber or more selfish. dilbert: so, you're saying i'm getting wiser?
Friday November 29,
2019
Mindless Tasks
Tags managers & supervisors, business, despondent, tasks, mindless
Transcript
dilbert thinking: looks like it will be another full day of interacting with people i wouldn't pull out of a burning car even if i were made of asbestos. my only hope is to stay busy doing mindless tasks. dilbert: do you have any mindless tasks for me? boss: take one from the top of the pile.
Saturday November 30,
2019
What Winning Feels Like
Tags managers & supervisors, office workers, regression, analysis, failure, business, common
Transcript
dilbert: i did a regression analysis to find out which variables are common to all of our failures. wally: it's me isn't it? dilbert pointing to boss: no, it's him. wally: is this what winning feels like?
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