December 2019 Comic Strips - Page 2

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Saying You Are Dumb

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Saying You Are Dumb  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, job, change, technology, dumb, imply, product

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dogbert's tech support ted: i can't figure out how to use your product. what should i do? dogbert: i recommend changing jobs to something less challenging. ted: are you saying i'm dumb? dogbert's once from phone: no. no. no. i'm only implying it.

Dogbert's Tech Support

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Dogbert's Tech Support  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, office worker, product, climate, change, Environment, recycle

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Dogbert's tech support female office worker: i can't figure out how to use your product. dogbert: the problem is climate change. there is nothing you can do. office worker: there must be something i can do. dogbert's voice from phone: do you recycle?

Blaming Climate Change

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Blaming Climate Change  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, support, calls, product, flaw, climate, change, Environment

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dilbert: how are the tech support calls going? dogbert: great. i'm blaming all of our product flaws on climate change, and people are totally buying it. dilbert: that doesn't make sense. dogbert: you'd be surprised how little that matters.

Denying Science

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Denying Science - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, medical, antidepressants, product, science

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dogbert's tech support dogbert: i recommend taking powerful antidepressants. it won't make our product any easier to use, but maybe you won't care as much. of course it will work. sheesh! - deny science much?

Robot Pronouns

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Robot Pronouns - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags robot, technology, pronoun, language, preferred, inferior, species, reproduce

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dilbert: i'll be working with him on the project. robot: "him"? that is not my preferred pronoun. i prefer, "it," "that thing," or simply "the robot." genders only apply to inferior species. i do not need a partner to reproduce. watch this. erg...oof...gaaa! the head is out... here ya go. dilbert talking to boss: i'll be working with that thing.

How Long It Will Take

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How Long It Will Take  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, assignment, deadline, incompetence, meeting, co-workers, months

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boss: can you have it done in a week? dilbert: not if i have to work with other employees. given the galactic incompetence of my co-workers, it would probably take seven to non months. boss: i'll give you two weeks. dilbert: that's how long it will take to set up the first meeting.

Technical Difficulties

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Technical Difficulties - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technical, difficulties, meeting, business, conference, call, audio, technology

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boss: how'd your meeting go? dilbert: we spent an hour trying to get the conference call audio to work. boss: and then? dilbert: it was a one-hour meeting.

Can't Work From Home

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Can't Work From Home - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, power, work from home

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dilbert: can i work from home? boss: no, because then i won't have the enjoyable sensation of wielding power over you. dilbert: everything about that sounds wrong. boss: off you go.

Not Fair

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Not Fair - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, work from home, fairness, power

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tina: i hear we are not allowed to work from home because it doesn't satisfy your sick need to wield power over us in person. boss: that's not fair. tina: is it accurate? boss: let's stick with "not fair."

Worst Idea Ever

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Worst Idea Ever - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags idea, savings, fake, psychic, prediction, money, unhappy

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boss: this is the worst idea i have ever seen. dilbert: didn't you once tell me you spent all of your savings on a fake psychic? and the only prediction she got right was that you would lose all of your money? boss: she also predicted i would be unhappy.