December 2005 Comic Strips - Page 2
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Character
Wednesday December 21,
2005
Tags charging time, projects, no work, wind, existence of your wind, farting around
Transcript
"Wally, you've been charging your time to several projects, but no one has ever seen you work." "You can't see the wind, either, but surely you don't doubt that it exists." "I've also gotten complaints about the existence of your wind." "I rest my case."
Tuesday December 20,
2005
Tags intermediate species, hominid, oyster, light sensitive blob, serious pearl
Transcript
"Your resume says you're some kind of intermediary species." "That's right." "I'm halfway between hominid and oyster. Someday I hope my light-sensitive blob will become an eye!" "I don't think we can use you." "Oh, man, you're giving me a serious pearl."
Monday December 19,
2005
Tags evil director, downsizing, human way, marketing ones, giant dung beetle, ball, poor performers
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "The downsizing will be handled in the most humane way I could think of." "I hired a giant dung beetle to roll the poor performers into a ball and out the door." "I can't get the marketing ones to stick. They keep sliding off."
Sunday December 18,
2005
Tags buy insurance, whole life umbrella rider, read list, acts of god, wrong god, lighting strike
Transcript
"I'd like to buy some insurance, but I don't know much about it." "You need my special indemnity casualty whole life umbrella rider binder." "What does it cover?" "I can't answer that directly?" "Just read that list of exclusions. Anything not in there is covered." "Does it cover acts of God?" "Yes, unless you pray to the wrong one." "How do I know if it's the wrong god?" "If you buy this insurance, and lightning doesn't strike me, try another god."
Saturday December 17,
2005
Tags desperate venture capitalist, math grades, first idea, mezzanine funding, cash bag, students, education
Transcript
Vijay, the World's Most Desperate Venture Capitalist "You two have good math grades." $ 8 "If you grow up and marry and produce a little engineer baby, I want to invest in its first idea." "Please don't be too late!" "Dude, we're already looking for mezzanine funding."
Friday December 16,
2005
Tags desperate venture capitalist, vjay, business plan, napkin, lunch, table, break room, money, throws money
Transcript
Vijay, the World's Most Desperate Venture Capitalist "Does anyone need a napkin to write on?" "What are you thinking now? Could it be a business plan?" "TAKE MY MONEY!!! TAKE IT!!!" "He's nice."
Thursday December 15,
2005
Tags venture capitalist, most desparate, vc business, idea worth funding, crooked teeth
Transcript
"I'm Vijay, the world's most desperate venture capitalist." "The VC business is more competitive than ever. I'm going to stalk you until you come up with an idea worth funding." "No pressure, but all of my kids have crooked teeth."
Wednesday December 14,
2005
Tags vp of enguneering, saving money, databases, slices idea, errors, asok
Transcript
V.P. of Engineering "Then I had the idea of saving money by combining our four databases." "Excuse me. That was Alice's idea. You said it was impossible, so she did it on her own time." "Carry on. I'll jump in if I notice any more errors."
Tuesday December 13,
2005
Tags dogberts, selfish cell phone, no number, can bother people, stop bothering me
Transcript
"I'm starting Dogbert's Selfish Cell Phone Company." "It has no phone number. You can call people and bother them when they're busy, but they can't do the same to you." "Hi Mom. Oh, nothing. I'm just walking someplace." "STOP BOTHERING ME!"
Monday December 12,
2005
Tags ran six miles, topper, hopped to work, broken leg, better, more better
Transcript
Topper "I ran six miles even though I was sore." "That's nothing." "I broke my leg and hopped all the way to work this morning." "You hopped 40 miles on your one good leg?" "On the broken one."
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