December 2007 Comic Strips - Page 3
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Character
Wednesday December 19,
2007
Tags disciuss company politics, career monefield, project, new strategic direction, upcoming reorganization, plan to criticize, something good happens
Transcript
The Boss: "I'm not allowed to discuss the company politics that form a career minefield around your project." "And I can't tell you the company's new strategic direction, or anything about our upcoming reorg." The boss: "My plan is to criticize you until something good happens."
Thursday December 20,
2007
Tags order from boss, reptilian brain, not apparent, move cubicle, closer to department
Transcript
The boss: "Alice, I want you to move to a cubicle closer to the rest of the department." Alice: "Is there a reason that isn't apparent, or is this coming from the reptilian part of your brain?" The boss: "How would you know?" Alice: "That's a surprisingly good point."
Friday December 21,
2007
Tags staff meeting, take an hour, skip meeting, agree to die, earlier, deadness, haunt boss, agreement
Transcript
Wally: "Your staff meeting will take an hour of my life that I will never get back." "If you let me skip the meeting, I will agree, to die an hour earlier to make up the difference." Dilbert: "He agreed?" Wally: "Yes, and I'm going to use that extra hour of deadness to haunt hum."
Saturday December 22,
2007
Tags enhance strategy, next adjacency, no way to verify
Transcript
The Boss: "What have you done lately to enhance our strategy into the next adjacency?" Dilbert: "I don't know what that means, so I'm going to say 'everything.'" The Boss: "He's lucky there's no way to verify that claim."
Monday December 24,
2007
Tags presentation, useful parts, open to suggestions, unqualified, their own jobs, software, recycled paper, engineering
Transcript
Dilbert: "This concludes the useful part of my presentation." "Now let's open the floor to suggestions from people who are unqualified to do their own jobs, much less mine." "Yes, you with the forehead." Man: "Can you make the software out of recycled paper?"
Tuesday December 25,
2007
Tags firing, incompetent, another job, lack of training, new job, incompetence, normal
Transcript
The Boss: "Bruce, you're totally incompetent at your job, so I've moving you to another job." "I'm hoping your lack of training for your new job will make your incompetence seem normal." Half of this job is know when to give up."
Wednesday December 26,
2007
Tags meeting, projects, complete projects, calculated risk, tasks, lateness irrelevant, worst week, business
Transcript
"And Wally, did you finish your project tasks for today?" Wally: "No. I took a calculated risk that other people would not finish their tasks either, making my lateness totally irrelevant." "Um..." "That is the worst..." "I need another week."
Thursday December 27,
2007
Friday December 28,
2007
Tags alice quits, 2 weeks notice, 20% raise, calls father, quitter, moron, raise instead of quit
Transcript
The Boss: "Alice, I got your two weeks' notice." "Will you stay if I give you a 20% raise?" Alice: "Okay." "Hey dad, do you remember you said I should never be a quitter? You do? Well, it turns out that you're a moron."
Saturday December 29,
2007
Tags new years eve, celebrate calendar event, hair brush as loofah
Transcript
Ratbert: What kind of party are we having for New Year's Eve? Dilbert: "Why would I celebrate an arbitrary calendar event?" Ratbert: "Suddenly I don't feel so bad about using your hairbrush as a loofah."
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