December 2019 Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Not Fair

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Not Fair - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, work from home, fairness, power

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: i hear we are not allowed to work from home because it doesn't satisfy your sick need to wield power over us in person. boss: that's not fair. tina: is it accurate? boss: let's stick with "not fair."

Worst Idea Ever

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Worst Idea Ever - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags idea, savings, fake, psychic, prediction, money, unhappy

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: this is the worst idea i have ever seen. dilbert: didn't you once tell me you spent all of your savings on a fake psychic? and the only prediction she got right was that you would lose all of your money? boss: she also predicted i would be unhappy.

Thwarting Alice's Career

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Thwarting Alice's Career - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, mentor, deny, Promotion, compete, thwart, career, business

View Transcript

Transcript

alice: can you mentor me? boss: heck, no. you're only one promotion away from competing for my job. alice: well, maybe you could just stop thwarting my career? boss: no, same issue.

Ship Without Manual

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ship Without Manual  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, ship, user, interface, model, enemy

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: the product is ready to ship as soon as the new user guide is complete. boss: ship it with the old model's user guide. dilbert: the user interface is totally different. boss: don't let perfect be the enemy of shipping.

Dogbert's Tech Support

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert's Tech Support - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, user, manual, common sense

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert's tech support dogbert: yes, we know the user manual refers to the wrong product. just use your common sense to figure out what the manual should have said. voice from phone: i tried the, but it didn't work. dogbert: i can't fix your common sense!

User Complaints

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
User Complaints - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, technology, support, business, staff, overwhelmed, bonus, product, launch, department, problem, cause, fair

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: our tech support staff is overwhelmed because we shipped the wrong user guide with our product. boss: my bonus only depends on launching the product on time. tech support isn't my department. dilbert: you caused the problem. boss: who told you it was a fair world.

Magazine Article

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Magazine Article - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, publication, salesman, advertisement, best, company, decision

View Transcript

Transcript

magazine salesman: our publication is considering naming your company one of the best places to work. on a totally unrelated topic, our sales team will be contacting you about buying lots and lots of advertisements. boss: and if we don't? magazine salesman: who would want to work at a company that makes such bad decisions?

Employer Of The Year

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Employer Of The Year - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags advertising, managers & supervisors, employer, year, million dollars, attitude, business

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i'm proud to announce that we've been named "employer of the year." dilbert: how much did that cost? boss: nothing! all we had to do was buy a million dollars' worth of ads. dilbert: did we need those ads? boss: you won't win any awards with that attitude.

Employee Engagement Survey

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Employee Engagement Survey - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, underpay, senior, management, accurate, information, engagement, survey, important, underpaid

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: all out the employee engagement survey and make sure you lie like crazy. i don't want any accurate information to bubble up to senior management. dilbert: i've never felt less important. boss: good. that's why i can underpay you.

Pre Meeting

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Pre Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, meeting, pre-meeting, canceled, sarcasm, business, reality

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: we canceled the meeting because we couldn't find a time for the pre-meeting to prepare for the meeting. dilbert: doesn't the pre-meeting need it's own pre-meeting? boss: good point. dilbert: sarcasm and reality have become one.