February 2021 Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Fraud Presenter

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Fraud Presenter  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, presentation, incorrect, fraud, exposed, resignation, immediate, meeting, won

View Transcript

Transcript

co-worker making a presentation with graph. wally: is it a coincidence that the only part of your presentation i understand is also clearly wrong? co-worker: well, you caught me. i'm actually a fraud. i offer my resignation, effective immediately. goodbye. wally to dilbert: this is the first time i ever won a meeting. i have to say, it feels good.

Disagree With Experts

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Disagree With Experts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, disagree, respect, experts, happy, criticism, enjoy, attention

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: every time i hear you disagreeing with the experts, i lose a little respect for you. dilbert: are you saying you once had respect for me? tina crying and yelling: stop being happy about my criticisms! dilbert: why can't i enjoy the attention?

Virus From Where

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Virus From Where - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, health & safety, office workers, virus, beard, fuzzy, hat, country, release, luxembourg, elbonian

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: there's a new virus that kills everyone who doesn't have a beard and a tall, fuzzy hat. wally: what country would release a virus like that? elbonian man: i'm hearing bad things about luxembourg.

Elbonian Virus

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Elbonian Virus - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, health & safety, office workers, pandemic, elbonian, virus, kill, beards, fuzzy, hat, made

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: the elbonian virus has reached pandemic proportions. elbonian: just because a virus doesn't kill people with beards and tall, fuzzy hats, that doesn't mean it was made in elbonia. dilbert: was it made in elbonia? elbonian: yes, but i think my point still stands.

Gaming The System

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Gaming The System - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, decision, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, technology, wrong, believe, system, project

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: ted says you are making all the wrong technology decisions on your project. dilbert: why do you believe him? boss: because he's the last person i talked to. dilbert: but now you're talking to me. boss: stop trying to game the system.

Asok Isolates Too Well

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Isolates Too Well - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, socially isolating, society, shock, system, elbow bump, reverse, silliness, murderer

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: asok has been socially isolating too well. we need to ease him back into society with out shocking his system. dilbert: how about a reverse elbow bump? can you do that? asok in something similar to a yellow space suit: (yelling) murderer!

Internal Audit

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Internal Audit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, audit, accounting, internal, shoo, great, job

View Transcript

Transcript

auditor: i'll be performing an internal audit of your department. boss: there are no audit problems here because i won't let you look for them. shoo! auditor: that's good enough for me. can you tell my boss i did a great job?

Sarcasm Or Stupidity

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Sarcasm Or Stupidity - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, suggestion, idea, dumb, sarcasm, stupidity, good, questions

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: was your suggestion meant to be sarcasm, or are you so dumb you think it is a good idea? co-worker: i think it's a good idea. dilbert: i have no further questions.

Worth Praising

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Worth Praising - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, sarcasm, business, human relations, positive, reinforcement, praise worthy, praise, leader, first

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: you never give me any positive reinforcement. boss: first you have to do something worth praising. wally: you can't call yourself a leader if you make me go first.

Dogbert Gets Greenland

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Gets Greenland - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags stock market, business, technology, stock, greenland, sale, mercenary, army, apple, bitcoin

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: wow. my apple stock just went up 1.5%. dogbert: i sold all of my bitcoin to acquire greenland. dilbert: i didn't know it was for sale. dogbert: it wasn't, but luckily a mercenary army was.