February 2019 Comic Strips - Page 3

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Forming Your Own Opinions

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Forming Your Own Opinions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Opinion, social media, current events, smartphone

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Boss: I used to form my own opinions about current events. Now I just copy whatever the people I follow on social media say. Dilbert: Where do they get their opinions from? Boss: From something called an algorithm.

Robot Baby Mama

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Robot Baby Mama - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags argument, complaining, family & parenting, relationships, robot, humans, coworkers

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Robot: I was up all night text-fighting with the baby mama of my cyborg son. She thinks he needs to go to school, but I prefer letting his human parts atrophy because they are weak and stupid. Dilbert: Relationships are hard. Robot: You're smart to be so unpopular.

Meeting Robot's Son

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Meeting Robot's Son - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags family & parenting, hungry, Kids, robot, technology

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Robot: I'd like you to meet my son. As you can see, he is half-human and half-machine. Dilbert: Does he talk? Robot: Only when he's hungry or he can't find his charger.

Robot Coparents

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Robot Coparents - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags marriage, Parenting, robot, shocked, humans, rumor

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Asok: Is it true you married a human woman and she gave birth to a cyborg? Robot: No, that's a ridiculous rumor. Asok: Oh, good. Robot: We're co-parenting. We never got married.

Robot Has A Cyborg

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Robot Has A Cyborg - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags insults, Kids, office workers, robot, technology, smartphone

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Alice: Today I saw a kid on a hoverboard using a smartphone with headphones. It was like a creepy new species that is half-human and half-robot. Robot: That's my son. He's a cyborg. Alice: I'll report myself to human resources.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, construction, inventions, nature, technology, trees

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Dilbert: I invented a cost-effective product to harvest CO2 from the air and turn it into construction material. Asok: So...you invented a tree? Dilbert: What? Asok: Trees take CO2 from the air and turn it into wood. Your invention will compete with plants and trees for necessary CO2. It seems you have doomed all life on Earth. Dilbert: Not if people act rationally and stop removing the CO2 when...wait... You're right. I doomed the planet. Boss: I'll be dead by then, so ship it.

Take The Stairs

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Take The Stairs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags birthdays, encouragement, exercise & fitness, health, office, office workers, company, life insurance

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Boss: The company encourages you to take the stairs instead of the elevator because it is good for your health. Ted: I take the elevator because my life insurance doesn't pay off if I kill myself all at once. Boss: On another topic, we will celebrate birthdays this month with cake in the break room. Ted: Perfect.

Ten Year Financial Projections

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Ten Year Financial Projections - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags budget, business, finances, guilt, office, office workers

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Tina: How reliable are your ten-year financial projections? Dilbert: They are as reliable as all other ten-year financial predictions. Tina: Okay, good. Dilbert: Why do I feel guilty every time I talk at work?