February 2021 Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Fraud Presenter

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Fraud Presenter  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, presentation, incorrect, fraud, exposed, resignation, immediate, meeting, won

View Transcript

Transcript

co-worker making a presentation with graph. wally: is it a coincidence that the only part of your presentation i understand is also clearly wrong? co-worker: well, you caught me. i'm actually a fraud. i offer my resignation, effective immediately. goodbye. wally to dilbert: this is the first time i ever won a meeting. i have to say, it feels good.

Dogbert Is Doctor Of Impossible

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Is Doctor Of Impossible - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boring, business, cure, diseases, doctor, fail, headache, ice-cold bath, impossible, improvement, medical, prescribe, sarcasm, treatments, health and wellnes

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: i'm dogbert, doctor of the impossible. boss: does that mean you cure diseases that are believed to be impossible to cure? dogbert: no, that sounds boring. i prescribe treatments that are impossible to follow. when you fail you don't get better. you'll think it's your own fault. boss: how does that help anyone but you? dogbert: hey, i'm not the one who brought it up. boss: you're giving me a headache. dogbert: to cure that, i suggest ice-cold baths every six minutes.

The Boss Has An Idea

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Boss Has An Idea - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, managment, worldwide, obvious, implement, smart, people, remote, work, idea

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: looks like my idea of remote work is being implemented by management all over the world. dilbert: i don't think that was "our idea" so much as totally obvious to every thinking person. boss: well, maybe. but would they have implemented it? dilbert: i'm going to talk to smart people now.

Boss Gets Vaccinated

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Gets Vaccinated - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, virus, covid-19, vaccine, vaccination, toxic, soup, deadly, neener

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i got the covid-19 vaccination, so i'm feeling safe. i feel sorry for you unvaccinated people who are marinating in a toxic soup of deadly viruses. dilbert: thank you for your concern. boss: neener-neener.

Wally's Success

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Success - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, track, success, work, correlation, working, sarcasm, unproductive

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: i've been tracking my successes at work relative to my efforts, and i see no correlation. so if you see me not working hard, you should assume everything is fine. boss: you've never had a success to track. wally: i was hoping you didn't know that.

Cake For Ted

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Cake For Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, cake, conference, birthday, invite, sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: we're having cake in the conference room for ted's birthday. dilbert: i don't like ted. wally: no one does. we didn't invite him. dilbert: then why are we having an event for him? wally: we like cake?

General Incompetence

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
General Incompetence - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, project, success, expectations, destroy, incompetent, sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: in summary, my project was successful beyond all expectations. Colleague: my relative lack of success this year makes me hate you and want to destroy you. dilbert: what's stopping you? colleague: general incompetence. same thing that killed all of my projects.

Blaming The Last Manager

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Blaming The Last Manager  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, wrong, fault, manager, inherited, problem, excellent, leadership

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: everything that went wrong this year was the fault of the prior manager. i inherited his problems. dilbert: but everything that went right was because of your excellent leadership? boss: no jumping ahead.