February 2020 Comic Strips
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Character
Friday February 28,
2020
Purchasing Department
Tags managers & supervisors, business, purchasing, vendor, market, quote, coffee
Transcript
Purchasing Manager Bob: you need there vendor quotes, or i can't approve it. dilbert: there are only two vendors in that market. bob: come back when something changes.
Thursday February 27,
2020
Ceo Is Like Normal People
Tags managers & supervisors, business, office environment, cubicle, work, normal, people, respect, stupid
Transcript
ceo: even though i am you ceo, i work out of a cubicle just like normal people. you probably respect that. alice: no, it sounds stupid. ceo: then why am i torturing myself in that putrid cubicle? alice: see prior answer.
Wednesday February 26,
2020
Ceo In Cubicle
Tags managers & supervisors, business, private, office, cubicle, common, work, employees
Transcript
eco: i've decided to give up my private office and work from a cubicle so employees will respect me more. my cubicle will be 1,000 square feet, with a ceiling. dilbert: that's called an office. eco: nothing pleases you common folk.
Tuesday February 25,
2020
Pragmatist
Tags business, plans, office workers, stupid, pragmatist, practical, implement, technology
Transcript
asok: i'm a pragmatist. i like plans that are practical. wally: not me. i like plans that can't be implemented. way less work. asok: my way sounds stupid now.
Monday February 24,
2020
Work Harder Than Others
Tags motivation, business, employees, managers, work, success
Transcript
boss: the only way to succeed in this company is by working harder than everyone else. alice: wouldn't that mean only one person in the company can be successful? boss: i might need to rethink my motivational messages. dilbert: maybe save those for your dumber employees.
Sunday February 23,
2020
Reading Faces
Tags business, meeting, corrupt, communists, technology, proposal, reading faces
Transcript
co-worker: i can't support this project because you're all a bunch of corrupt, godless communists. dilbert: just out of curiosity, where did you get your education? co-worker: i learned everything i need to know on social media. dilbert: how does that help you evaluate a technical proposal? co-worker: it's simple. i take one look at all of your faces, and i know everything i need to know. co-worker looking at wally: i mean, look at this guy's face. he's obviously a grifter. wally: lucky guess. co-worker looking at alice: this one obviously has anger issues. dilbert: i demand a larger sample size! co-worker: whatever geek face.
Saturday February 22,
2020
Self Actualization
Tags employees, managers & supervisors, business, work, talk, listen, self-actualized
Transcript
dilbert: i work every day, and yet i am not feeling completely self-actualized. boss: what's that mean? dilbert: i don't know. it's something i heard. boss: why are we even talking about it? dilbert: because the more i talk, the less i have to listen to you.
Friday February 21,
2020
Expecting Excellence
Tags business, technology, happiness, expectations, coffee, dysfunction, excellence
Transcript
wally: asok, he key to happiness is lowering your expectations. for example, all i expect from work today is twelve cups of coffee and a humorous display of corporate dysfunction. asok: that sounds sad. wally: try expecting excellence and see how that works for you.
Thursday February 20,
2020
What Is The Bra
Tags office workers, business, risk, assessment, mock, teamwork, acronym
Transcript
office worker: what's the b.r.a. on that? dilbert: jus? office worker: you look dumb in front of everyone for not knowing b.r.a. stands for business risk assessment. we'll probably mock you behind your back. dilbert talking to the boss: i don't think your teamwork exercises are working.
Wednesday February 19,
2020
Alice And Blockchain
Tags business, technology, project, learn, skills
Transcript
alice: i'd like to help on the blockchain project to build my skills in that area. boss: i don't like it when people learn new things. alice: i don't know what to say to that. boss: oh, good. it worked.

