February 2005 Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #furry log, #nick name, #cute names, #creating hostile environment, #squirrel infested stump

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Alice, did you call the director of human resources a "furry log"?" Alice: "Yes" The Boss: "I can't tell if you're promoting teamwork with a cute nickname or creating a hostile environment." "Which is it?" Alice: "It's teamwork, you squirrel-infested stump."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #award, #hard work, #chair, #new chair, #stolen, #happiest moment

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: This award goes to Asok for his hard work on ... Whatever. Asok: "My dedication has been rewarded! This is the happiest moment of my life!" "Wow! It's lucky that I got a new chair on the same day that mine was stolen."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bad service, #fire people, #sexy, #ceo of company

View Transcript

Transcript

I keep getting bad service at stores. "Do what I do."<br."I say I'm the CEO of their company and then I fire them all." "You don't look like a CEO." "Too sexy?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #human resources, #change name, #workplace, #evil enough, #evil laugh, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "I might change my department's name." "To "Workplace Services." BU-WHA-HA-HA-HA!!" "When things don't sound evil enough on their own, I like to toss in a bu-wha-ha-ha-ha."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new vp, #amrketing, #xperinece, #unrelated, #indutry, #assured, #shampoo, #sailing, #Astrology

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Our new VP of Marketing has twenty years of experience in an unrelated industry. "But he assured me that technology is the same as shampoo." "I predict smooth sailing." New VP: "Technology? I though you said astrology."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ceo visist, #donuts, #taste test, #all donuts, #dont panic, #fix donuts, #screaming, #fresh and delicious

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Carol, I want to be certain that everything is perfect for the CEO's visit." "Check the doughnuts to make sure that they're fresh and delicious." Later Carol: Mmm... This one is okay." "How can I be sure this isn't the one good doughnut in the batch." "I'll have to taste every one of them." The Boss: "CAROL!!!" Carol: "Don't panic. I can fix this." "This is odd: Most of my doughnut is delicious, but one part tastes like gum."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work, #without supervsion, #teal, #hassle, #show himself out

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Can you work well without supervision? Candidate: "No. I need continuous supervision to keep me from stealin' and harassin'." The boss: "I think we're done here." Candidate: "Do you mind if I show myself out?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work well, #superviuson, #vague objectives, #recognition, #contribution, #excited by criticism

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Can you work well without supervision? Candidate: "Yes! I thrive on vague objectives and a complete lack of recognition for my contribution!" The Boss: "Can you handle criticism?" Candidate: "I'm not too proud to say it excites me!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #worthless, #subject matter expert, #narrow field, #vague field

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: "People think I'm worthless, but in fact I'm a subject-matter expert in a very narrow field." "It's so narrow that it requires no knowledge whatsoever." Dilbert: "What field is it?" Wally: "There's no way to know for sure."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #balcberry, #contact, #do work, #all day, #prodcutivity

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "I need a Blackbery so I can be in e-mail contact at all times." "I'll be able to do work all day and all night. My productivity will soar!" The Boss: "Trust me, it doesn't look good."