March 2019 Comic Strips - Page 1

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags conversation, Food, friends, office, office workers

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Man: I'm a foodie. Are you foodie too? Dilbert: I think of food as fuel. Man: But you enjoy eating good food, right? Dilbert: I try to avoid food that tastes good. That way, I won't overeat. I usually just check my plate for any stray bandages, and that's about it. If my food passes that test, I shovel it toward my mouth while reading stuff on my phone. Man: I don't think I can be your friend. Dilbert: That worked out better than I hoped.

Smart To Wait

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Smart To Wait - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, office workers, technology, proposal

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i approved your technology proposal. dilbert: i made that proposal six months ago. now everything has changed and it no longer makes sense. the boss: well, i guess i was smart to wait. dilbert: the less you do, the better.

Chemtrails

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Chemtrails - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, office workers, chemtrails, deadline

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the boss: why didn't you get your report in on time? wally: do you believe chemtrails are real? the boss: of course i do. wally: the chemtrails slowed me down. the boss: okay, that sounds right.

Dating A Unicorn

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Dating A Unicorn - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, dating, office, office workers, unicorn

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ted: i hear you're dating a unicorn. dilbert: that is absurd and untrue. ted: then how do you explain the fact that five people told me it was true? ted: i mean, you'd have to believe all five of them are idiots. dilbert: including you, it's six.

Detailed Explanation

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Detailed Explanation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, office workers

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office worker: did my detailed explanation answer your question? wally: i started to lose consciousness about fifteen minutes into it, so I thought of other things while you talked, just to stay awake. office worker: i could start over. wally: go ahead. i'll be down the hall if you need me.

Why Is Dilbert Arrogant

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Why Is Dilbert Arrogant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, intelligence, office, office workers, relationships, arrogance

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office worker: why are you so arrogant? dilbert: that's an illusion caused be a combination of your low intelligence and my track record of being right all the time. office worker: you're being arrogant again! dibert: or am I just right?

Wally's Dna

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Wally's Dna - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, office workers, dishes, break room, dna, genealogy

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carol: did you leave unwashed dishes in the break room? wally: it wasn't me. carol:" i got a dna sample off a fork, ran it against public genealogy records and narrowed it down to your family. carol: how do you explain that? wally: sounds like i have a child i don't know about.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags argument, debates, frustration, office workers, evidence

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Man: ...And that's what I think about the issue. Dilbert: Here's a Youtube video proving that everything you believe is wrong. Notice this isn't just an opinion. It is a video of the entire event you just claimed did not happen. I'm sending you a link to ten media stories debunking your version of events. Having now proved how wrong you are. Would you like to retract everything you said about it? Man: Why can't you admit when you are wrong? Dilbert: Because I'm not wrong!!!

Brainwashing To Increase Sales

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Brainwashing To Increase Sales - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags questioning, brainwashing, technology, increase, ethnical

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Sean: Our brainwashing technology had boosted sales by 900% Dilbert: But is it ethnical? Sean: Yes, it is. Yes...It...Is

Sean From Extreme Marketing

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Sean From Extreme Marketing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags extreme, marketing, sean, brainwashing, technology, unapprove, first

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Boss: This is Sean from the extreme marketing department. He's here to tell us about our new brainwashing technology. Dilbert: I don't approve of brainwashing. Sean: That's why I'm going to do you first.