March 2014 Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 2014's comic on:


Tags #stress, #humans irrational, #comment, #hater, #hater forver, #taking personal

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Dilbert: My stress is way down since I discovered that all humans are irrational. Tina: Clearly that comment is directed at me. Now I hate you forever! Dilbert: Da-dee da-dum.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 11, 2014's comic on:


Tags #internet & world wide web, #work ethic, #telecommuting, #exhausting, #dumb founded

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Dilbert: I thought you were telecommuting this week. Wally: It was too exhausting. Dilbert: I have no follow-up questions.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 12, 2014's comic on:


Tags #competition (psychology), #mobile (cell) phones, #money, #tiny screen, #enormous phone, #expensive, #paid mortgage, #phone with tiny screen

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Topper: I see you have a phone with a tiny screen. That must be embarrassing compared to my enormous phone. Dilbert: Is it expensive? Topper: It paid off my mortgage by mining Bitcoins. Topper

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 13, 2014's comic on:


Tags #competition (psychology), #pride, #a-b testing, #traffic to site, #most effective search terms, #wingless skunk, #junkyard sbnack, #planned injury, #topper

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Coworker: I did A-B testing and found the search terms that bring the most people to our site. The most effective search terms are "wingless skunk," "junkyard snack," and "planned injury." Topper: Well, duh! You could have just asked me. Topper

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 14, 2014's comic on:


Tags #joking, #mobile (cell) phones, #hearing aid, #quick text, #all caps

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Boss: I'll just send a quick text to Paul. Wally: Paul has a hearing aid, so type in all caps. Boss: Good idea. Dilbert: That's messed up. Wally: A little.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 15, 2014's comic on:


Tags #internet & world wide web, #power (social sciences), #slaves, #a-b testing, #manipulate humans, #orange button, #mindless puppets, #legality

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Dogbert: Buwhahaha! I'm using A-B testing to manipulate irrational humans! Bend to my will and choose the orange button, you mindless click-puppets! Dilbert: And this is legal? Dogbert: I own you now!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 30, 2014's comic on:


Tags #gut in charge, #gut instinct, #ignoring certain people, #key to success, #morse code, #never right, #thinking, #wants a sandwhich

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Boss: The key to success is ignoring the people who say it can't be done. Dilbert: What if they're all right? Boss: They aren't right! Dilbert: Really? Other people are never right? Boss: You have to trust your gut! Dilbert: My gut is telling me that everything your're saying is ridiculous. It also says it wants a sandwich right now. I'd stay, but I'm putting my gut in charge of my decisions. Wally: My gut sends me messages in Morse code. Here comes one now.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 16, 2014's comic on:


Tags #internet & world wide web, #movies, #clever video, #create video, #internet, #go viral, #marketing experts, #engineer, #more passion, #loser attitude, #viral video, #Entertainment, #technology, #engineering

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Boss: I want you to create a clever video about our product for the Internet. But make sure it goes viral or you're a total failure. Dilbert: No one can predict what goes viral. Marketing experts fail at this sort of thing 99% of the time. I'm an engineer with no relevant skills for this assignment. Boss: Maybe you could succeed if you had more passion. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! I need a rational boss, not passion! Boss: That's sort of a loser attitude. Asok: Hey, my video is going viral!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 2014's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #brain wash, #company profits, #more imprtant, #employers engagement, #12 hour days, #work for money

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Catbert: I'm going to brainwash you to believe company profits are more important than your health. It's called "employee engagement," and it will make you work 12-hour days while thinking you enjoy every minute of it. Dilbert: Can I just work for money? Catbert: Why are you being a jerk about this?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 18, 2014's comic on:


Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #idiots, #agree, #talking to idiots

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Alice: I was just talking to some idiots. They agree with you on every topic. Boss: What is your point? Alice: That's exactly what they would say!