March 2018 Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Story Telling Mothman

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Story Telling Mothman - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags mothman, workload, responsibility, stress, story, talking

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hired a storytelling mothman. He identifies with employees with the greatest workloads and wastes their time telling long stories. Dilbert: We don't need a storytelling mothman. Boss: Then why does every company have one?

Moth Man Keeps Popping In

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Moth Man Keeps Popping In - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags conversation, talking, frustration, workload, annoyance

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I can't get any work done because the storytelling mothman keeps popping in to my cubicle uninvited. Why did you hire a storytelling mothman in the first place? Was it not obvious this would happen? Boss: Everyone's a genius in hindsight.

Mentor Can't Tell A Hoax From Reality

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Mentor Can't Tell A Hoax From Reality - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, competition, bad advice, deception, wedgie

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Alice has been mentoring me for a month, and I can't tell how much of her advice is real and how much is a hoax. For example, she advised me to give our boss a wedgie because she said he likes assertive people. Is that real? Dilbert: I'm gonna say yes.

Meeting Rooms Are Booked

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Meeting Rooms Are Booked  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meetings, managers, scheduling, conflict

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My project stalled because all of our meeting rooms have been reserved by managers just in case they need them. My current plan for success is to wait until one of you dies sow e can use your meeting room. Boss: Let's not do project status reports anymore.

Mothman Detects Energy

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Mothman Detects Energy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags workload, talking, socializing, conversation

View Transcript

Transcript

The Storytelling Mothman. Mothman: I detect the energy of an employee with a high workload. I'm here to tell you a long story that you think will never end. Alice: That is the last thing I need right now. Mothman: Do you know the history of the paper clip?

Alice Mentors The New Guy

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice Mentors The New Guy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags mentor, mentee, competition, threat, paranoia, protege

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: our boss asked me to mentor you. But don't expect too much from me because I see you as a competitor for my job. Man: May I have a mentor who doesn't see me as a threat? Boss: Why? So you can take my job?

Elbonian Slave Labor

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Elbonian Slave Labor  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, slave, wages, compensation, minimum wage, morality, business, money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Management was shocked to learn that the company we acquired had been using Elbonian slave labor. We immediately replaced them with minimum wage employees who have no hope of career advancement. Wally: You did the right thing. Boss: That's how it felt.

Moth Man Visits Alice

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Moth Man Visits Alice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags conversation, annoyance, mothman, anger, frustration, workload

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: The storytelling mothman you hired is keeping us from doing our work! He's in Alice's cubicle right now. Mothman: Gaaaa!!!! Asok: Sounds like he flew too close to the flame. Boss: Problem solved.

Boss Loves Criticism

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Loves Criticism - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags mentor, mentee, protege, Advice, competition, deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice The Mentor. Alice: One thing I can tell you about our boss is that he loves constructive criticism. Man: I feel as if your advice is intended to make me fail because you see me as a threat to take your job. Alice: And he loves it when you grab him by the hair and yell, "handles!"

Hot And Cold In The Office

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Hot And Cold In The Office - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags temperature, thermostat, disagreement, hot, cold

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I accomplished nothing this week because the office is so cold my hands turned into blocks of ice. Dilbert: I accomplished nothing this week because the office is so hot I can't concentrate. Boss: Are the two of you the same species? Dilbert: That's a gray area because it would be impossible for us to mate.