March 2017 Comic Strips - Page 2
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Character
Saturday March 11,
2017
Avoid Offending Sensitive Idiots
Tags politeness, etiquette, communication, sensitive, feelings, offense, political correctness, politically correct
Transcript
Dogbert: Avoid offending sensitive idiots whenever possible. Man: I'm a sensitive idiot and I find that offensive. Dogbert: It's okay in your case because you had it coming. Man: Good point. Carry on.
Sunday March 12,
2017
Tags deadline, reminder, communication, logic, catch-22
Transcript
Dilbert: Did you finish the wireframe I asked you to do last week? Man: I didn't hear from you, so I assumed you didn't need it. Dilbert: Lat week I asked you to do it and you said you would. Man: Right, but then I didn't hear from you again until now. Dilbert: There wasn't any reason to contact you because you said you would do it! Man: How was I supposed to know that? I assumed your silence meant you changed your mind. Dilbert; Can you finish it by next week? Man: Sure, if you don't pester me about it every minute.
Monday March 13,
2017
Actual Company Policy
Tags complaining, management, manipulation, strategy, vacation, training, company policy
Transcript
Boss: I can't approve your vacation days because you haven't completed the mandatory class on fax machine safety. Dilbert: Is that an actual company policy? Boss: I don't know, but it sounds like one. Dilbert: Maybe we should check. Boss: Wow. Is there anything you DON'T complain about?
Tuesday March 14,
2017
Can't Take Vacation
Tags company policy, catch-22, rules, exception
Transcript
Dilbert: Our policy says I can't take my vacation until I complete all of my mandatory training. I can't take the fax safety class because it no longer exists. Can you make a policy exception for me? Boss: Okay, I won't force you to take a vacation.
Wednesday March 15,
2017
Craving Vacation
Tags vacation, conversation, work, workload, annoy, annoyance
Transcript
Tine: I hear you have some vacation days coming. Planning anything big? Dilbert: I plan to catch up on all the work I couldn't get done here because people keep interrupting me. Tina: That's a sad vacation. Dilbert: Then why am I craving it right now?
Thursday March 16,
2017
Dilbert's Vacation Was Tragic
Tags vacation, work, workload, work ethic
Transcript
Wally: How was your vacation? Dilbert: Tragic. All I did was stay home and watch my personal hygiene decline while my workload here piled up. Wally: You just described my perfect day.
Friday March 17,
2017
Dilbert Loses His Budget
Tags vacation, decision, funding, money
Transcript
Boss: You were on vacation last week so I made decisions about your project without you. Dilbert: Oh no... what have you done? Boss: I transferred your budget to another project. Dilbert: I need that money! Boss: Oh. Can you wait until the other project manager goes on vacation?
Saturday March 18,
2017
Devil's Advocate
Tags devil's advocate, demon, devil, anger, idiom
Transcript
Boss: Do you mind if I play devil's advocate on this? Dilbert: Okay. Boss: Die! Die! Die! Suffer and burn forever!!! How was that? Dilbert: Better than I expected.
Sunday March 19,
2017
Tags communication, mumbling, speech, understanding
Transcript
Dilbert: What's the URL for the test site? Boss: Ask Amy. Dilbert; Amy is a mumbler. I can't understand a word she says. Boss; Just ask her to speak up. Dilbert: I've tried that. All she does is mumble louder. And whenever I ask her a question by email, she answers the wrong question. If the only person who knows the URL for the test site is Amy, we probably need to build a new site and tell someone else the URL. Amy might be the most useless employee in the entire company. Wally: Can you teach me to mumble? Amy: Mumble, mumble, mumble. Narrator: Get your own system.
Monday March 20,
2017
Wally Accidentally Invents Coffee Warmer
Tags invention, engineer, coffee, cell phone, technology, idea, engineering
Transcript
Wally: Nothing is going right today. My phone charger is too hot, and my coffee is too cold. Dilbert: Did you just invent a phone charger that keeps your coffee warm? Wally: Did I? Dilbert: I'll have a prototype for you tomorrow. Narrator: Continued...
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