April 2003 Comic Strips - Page 2
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Character
Friday April 11,
2003
Tags dental appointement, cubilces, scowl, menaced, walk amongst workers, body double
Transcript
The Boss says to the costumed Asok, "I'm leaving early, in case I have a dental appointment or whatnot." The Boss puts his arm around Asok and says, "Walk amongst the cubicles until 7 p.m. and scowl at anyone who isn't working." Asok stands in Wally's cubicle with a scowl on his face. Wally replies, "Nice scowl. I feel slightly menaced."
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Saturday April 12,
2003
Tags orchestra od data, ironic spelling, geneous mistro
Transcript
Dilbert, Wally, and a coworker are meeting. The coworker holds up a sign and says, "We named the product 'Geneousmistro' because it conducts an orchestra of data." The coworker continues, "Can you believe the domain name 'Geneousmistro' wasn't already taken?" Dilbert asks, "Is the spelling meant to be ironic?" The coworker replies, "Why do you ask?"
Sunday April 13,
2003
Tags hard day, meeting with ceo, billion dollar comapny, free stock, cash fow, revenue, disaster events, tragic evenets, slpping, fear induced meeting
Transcript
Dilbert: Im taking my business case too some venture capitalists. Im hoping that their wisdom and resources will make it a billion dollar company. Dilbert: Would you like some free stock? Dogbert: BAH! Dilbert: What would I do without the support of my loved one? CEO: What would the cash flow look like if.... ....Revenue was zero, microsoft and IBM entered the market , your factory burned down and a piano fell on your head? And what about civil unrest, lawsuits, natural disasters and locusts? Dilbert: ...Then the little one slapped me. Dogbert: Now RE_E_EL them in.
Monday April 14,
2003
Tags leave work early, don't walk past, office of boss, just from roof, land in dumpster, leadership, cut throat
Transcript
The Boss addresses a meeting, "Our VP is mad because people are leaving work too early." The Boss turns to Alice and says, "If you need to leave early, don't walk past his office. Go to the roof and leap into the 'dumpster' in the alley." The VP sits smugly in his office and thinks, "Leadership triumphs again." Alice can be seen through the window behind him jumping off the roof into the dumpster.
Tuesday April 15,
2003
Tags unspecified short comings, co worker, accuser, witness protection program, boss, meeting, business
Transcript
Dilbert sits in The Boss' office. The Boss says, "A co-worker who shall remain nameless has accused you of unspecified shortcomings." The Boss continues, "Your accuser has been placed in the witness protection program." Dilbert asks, "You have a program for that?" The Boss replies, "Actually, I just forget who says what."
Wednesday April 16,
2003
Tags excellent all year, rating poor, paper trail, fire you, surge of motivation, feedback
Transcript
Asok is meeting with The Boss. The Boss says, "Asok, your work has been excellent all year." The Boss continues, "I'm rating you 'poor' so I'll have a paper trail in case I ever need to fire you." Asok sobs and crumples his evaluation. The Boss says, "You'll probably feel a little surge of motivation because you got feedback."
Thursday April 17,
2003
Tags mood swings, deficit, piece of dirt, Family, defect, defected worker
Transcript
The Boss introduces a new co-worker to Dilbert, "Dilbert, this is Irene. I don't yet know what her defect is." Irene yells, "Stop being rude to me, you piece of dirt!!!" Irene hugs Dilbert and says, "We're like family now." The Boss says, "I'm thinking: mood swings."
Friday April 18,
2003
Tags at party, camera advice, engineer, physical, wally dressed as engineer, engineering
Transcript
Dilbert is talking to a woman at a party. The woman says, "You're an engineer, maybe you can tell me what kind of digital camera I should buy." Dilbert responds, "Would you ask a doctor for free advice?" The woman says, "I got a complete physical by the appetizer." Wally approaches them in a doctor's uniform and says, "Yeah, I'm never off duty."
Saturday April 19,
2003
Tags training, worlds longest joke, criminally abusive, behavior and fun, fine line behaviors
Transcript
The Boss is meeting with an employee. The Boss says, "So Ted has been training you for the past six months." The Boss continues, "Based on your work, I'd say he's playing the world's longest practical joke on you." The employee is visibly angry. He approached Ted. Ted says, "Sometimes there's a fine line between criminally abusive behavior and fun."
Sunday April 20,
2003
Tags script for meeting, script, twice a year, act one, scene two, admiration, leadership, employment, deliver line, eyes moist, sliced onion, morale
Transcript
The Boss hands Dilbert a piece of paper and says, "Here's your script for the meeting." Dilbert asks, "Script?" The Boss explains, "My boss sees me only twice a year. I want everything to go smoothly." Dilbert looks at the script and says, "In act one, scene two, when I proclaim my admiration for your leadership..." Dilbert continues, "What's my motivation?" The Boss replies, "Employment." Dilbert says, "Good, good." The Boss adds, "And it would help if your eyes were moist when you deliver the line." Dilbert points to his pocket and says, "I'll put a sliced onion in my shirt pocket." The Boss, The Boss' boss, and Dilbert are meeting. The Boss' boss says to Dilbert, "Hello, underling, how is your morale?" Dilbert is sobbing.
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