April 2007 Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"According to my Soul-o-Meter, you still have 1% of your soul." "I'll give you a doughnut for it." "Sold." "It's funny how quickly a good day can become a great day."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Stop right there. I'm detecting a glimmer of hope. "I was hoping I would be appreciated for my hard work." "False hope is okay. Carry on."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

My soul-o-meter is picking up a reincarnated soul. It looks like you had several previous lives. "I'll cauterize your head so your soul stays in your dead body next time." zzzt!!! "Because I can."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"This product will leapfrog the iPod and provide pleasure to all five of your senses." "The user can download pictures, smells, tastes, and celebrity tickling patterns." "The test group preferred it over eating. They're all dead." "It has the coolness factor."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Don't feel bad if you only got a 3% raise; I only got 2% myself. "Can we feel bad that 2% of your pay is bigger than 3% of our pay?" "Don't get all mathy on me."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags busy, make appointment, always busy, in between, no time, make no time, unpredictable, secretary, shouts

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "Do you have a minute?" The Boss: "No, I'm busy." Dilbert: "When would be a good time for me to come back?" The Boss: "Come back when I'm not busy." Dilbert: "Aren't you always busy?" The Boss: "Heck, no." "Sometimes I'm in between doing one thing and doing another thing." Dilbert: "When will that happen?" The Boss: "It's unpredictable." "Ask Carol to call you when I'm not busy." Dilbert: "Carol, would you..." Carol: "I'M BUSY!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"If I invented something that would give me unlimited power..." "...Would you kill me in my sleep so you could steal it?" "Of course not." "Good." "I mean, why would I wait until you were asleep?" "That's just burning daylight." "In fact, I'm thinking of killing you right now just in case you already invented it and you're trying to decide whether you should tell me." "It was a hypothetical question." "Maybe, but it's not a chance I'm willing to take."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Company Lawyer "I did a trademark search on all of the excellent product names you suggested." "Every one of them is taken." "So I did a search on the names that weren't so great." "Those are taken, too." "Then I checked on the names iCrud, iPuke, EatDirtAndDie, and DefectiveProduct." "All taken." "So our new product name will be a combination of grunts and shrieks." "Like this? GrrrrrEeeyYaaa?" "That one is taken. Ours sounds more like a monkey passing a kidney stone."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"We're planning to outsource half of the department." "You can't tell anyone." "Is it true that half of the department will be outsourced?" "Before you answer, I should tell you that I've made a list..." "...of all the responses that mean the same as yes." "For example, if you say, 'Ignore the rumors,' that means yes." "Also on the list are, 'Why do you ask?' and, 'Who told you that?'" "That list is stupid." "Gaaa!!! That's number 8 on my list!!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags big business, business, cars, news, sales, sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're going to take a page from the automaker's playbooks. Automakers prove their design skills by creating concept cars that will never go into production. Then they prove their management skills by producing cars that are less attractive than corrective underpants. Tomorrow we're holding a press conference to show the world our own concept product. Our concept product can stop global warming and wax your back at the same time. Man: Can it actually do those things? Boss: Why do you care? Man: So...actually it's just a huge waste of our time. Boss: You have a mighty low opinion of news.