April 2007 Comic Strips

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Phew. This has been a long meeting. Does anyone have any other issues? "I..." PUNCH "We have a motion to adjourn."

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You have a bad case of chair buttocks. "You can still live a normal life." "Assuming it's normal for people to point and laugh at you."

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"This is the posterior of a healthy, unemployed woman." "Prolonged exposure to employment will create more of a box shape." "I'd offer you a lollipop, but it would only make things worse."

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Tina the tech writer "I'm starting my own blog!" "Dear god, no!" "Every day I will record my personal thoughts about our business." "I need you to write the first one by noon. I can't wait to see what I'm thinking."

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"This blog post you wrote for me isn't witty enough." "Try it again, but make me sound like Mark Twain." "'I reckon you'd be hankerin' for some quality. 'Taint happenin' but it orter.'"

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"Your blog has become an embarrassment to the company." "You have failed me. Now you must pay the price." "Oh, crud. I need you to call the facilities department for me...and come back tomorrow." snap

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"You might hear some noise from the basement tonight." "I got a big order for running shoes, so I'm making the Elbonians work around the clock." "Here's some pepper spray in case any of them escape."

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Tags #ceo, #eliminate dept, #what do we do, #explain things, #morons

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The boss: Our CEO wants to eliminate our department because he doesn't know what we do. "I need someone to tell me what we do so I can tell him." Dilbert: "We explain things to morons." The Boss: "Should I be writing this down?"

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"Asok, I need you to create a PowerPoint presentation that will save our department from being eliminated." "You must quantify the unquantifiable. And that can only be done by a process that I call lying." "Lying is a process?" "It can be, if you use enough slides."

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I need to quantify the benefits of our department. Any ideas? "I recommend dishonesty." "Would that work?" "It made me the man I am today."