April 1994 Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #senior executive, #bad deciosn, #end careers, #challenging, #decison, #great idea, #mixed signals, #pull neckties, #hurts

View Transcript

Transcript

"If we know our senior executive is making a bad decision, shouldn't we tell her?" "Hmm, yes. Let's end our careers by challenging a decision that won't change. That's a great idea." "I'm getting mixed signals here." "And let's pull our neckties until it hurts!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #making faces, #holding ears, #little fort, #friday meetings

View Transcript

Transcript

THP-P-P-P-P I can't hear you! LA-LA-LA-HM-HM-LA-LA He's right! It is just like a little fort!! Dilbert: Friday meetings.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #top priority, #last month, #dated

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Take care of this immediately. It's your top priority. Dilbert: Top Priority?? This is dated last month, Its been on your desk for weeks and now its your top priority?? The Boss: I said its your top priority. I still don't care about it, Dilbert: well...okay the,

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #upgrade boss computer, #cardboard prop, #came with desk, #new mother board, #new desk, #needs, #no actual computer

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "I want you to help me upgrade the computer in my office." Dilbert: "The computer in your office is a cardboard prop that came with your desk." The Boss: "So, I need a new motherboard, right?" Dilbert: "No, you need a new desk."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #no raises, #appliances, #television, #fridge, #lava lamp, #jar of mayonnaise, #dog, #boss, #dilberet, #animals, #Entertainment

View Transcript

Transcript

"This year, instead of raises we're giving appliances." "What?!" "High performers could get a color television or a new 'fridge." "He called it a 'lava lamp'." "I call it a jar of old mayonnaise."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #making copies, #spits out, #commands in, #copier paper, #photocopy, #paper flys, #crinkle

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Dilbert: Quantity...two sided ...reduced to 98%...collated ...with staple ....portrait ...two colors...darken legal size papaer. Think! crinkle! spit! woman: If you eat a photocopy set "This Crinkle and poet" to no. Dilbert: it makes copies too??

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #voice controlled computer, #envious, #mouse driven, #color printer denied, #delete a file, #curses

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: "?" Dilbert: "Expand...window." Wally: "Well, look who got a voice-controlled computer." Dilbert: "Insert...column." wally: "If I were a lesser engineer I might be envious." dilbert: "Add...row." Wally: "I don't mind using my prehistoric mouse-driven computer." "And I'm not bitter about my request for a color printer being denied." "At least I won't work all day then accidently..." "DELETE...A FILE!!" Dilbert: "#!@%%&" Wally: "Please...not in front of the computer."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new wealth, #build amusement park, #thrilling rides, #wedgie, #restrooms, #customers, #build park

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I plan to use my new wealth to build an amusement park. Dogbert: Dogbertland will have thrilling rides like "The wedgie" and I'll have a maze in front of the restrooms. Dilbert: The customers will hate this. Dogbert: If they want fun they can build their own park.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #broadcasted, #dsn, #identify, #jobs, #movie, #take over, #takeover

View Transcript

Transcript

"From now on you'll be working full time on our takeover of DSN." "You must also identify any unnecessary jobs that can be cut after the takeover." "That would be the people who worked on the take-over." "Ooh, I broadcasted that move."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big money, #deal, #dog, #Dogbert, #executive, #mercury dimes, #negotiate, #static network, #stock, #static for sale, #animals

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: We'll give you sixty billion for the "dogcart static network" half f that will be stock in our company. Dogbert: Who would want stock in a company that would pay city billion for static? CEO: Not us thats the point. Dogbert: Id like it all in mercury dimes.