May 2005 Comic Strips - Page 2
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Character
Saturday May 21,
2005
Tags leadership succession plan, freeze hiring, staff, pormotion, bad idea
Transcript
Catbert: "You have to have a leadership succession plan." "There's a freeze on hiring, so you'll have to pick someone from your staff." Alice: "So, if something horrible happened to you, I'd get a promotion?" The boss: "This was a bad idea."
Friday May 20,
2005
Tags important, month to fisnish, last minute, unreasonable deadline, freaky part
Transcript
"Asok, this is important but you have month to finish it." Asok: "I'll start right away." Wally: "It's smarter to wait until the last minute and then make a big show of how harding you're woring to meet the unreasonable deadline." Asok: "You said that right in front of him." Wally: "It's still work that's the freaky part"
Thursday May 19,
2005
Tags no budeget, give raisem, business trip las vegas, four million, bathrub, flooded five floors, bartenders
Transcript
The Boss: "Don't blame me, but there's no budget to give you a raise this year." Alice: "Why not?" The boss: "My business trip to Las Vegas cost four million dollars because I passed out in the bathtub with the water running and flooded five floors." The boss; "The bartenders there are totally irresponsible."
Wednesday May 18,
2005
Tags accounting depot, travlke expeses, copies of receipts, need originals
Transcript
The Accounting Department "I can't process your travel expenses because you sent me copies of receipt. I need the originals." "I'm busy. Just fax them."
Tuesday May 17,
2005
Tags dilbert.com, owls for fuel, new suv, good idea, start breeding owls
Transcript
The Boss: My new SUV uses owls for fuel. It seemed like a good idea but now I can't find enough owls. Carol: "You'll have to start your own owls." The boss: "That's what I figured." The Hilarious conclusion to this comic has been deemed offensive, If you must know how it ends, go to dilbert.com
Monday May 16,
2005
Tags practical vehicle, environement, 40 tons, owls for fuel
Transcript
SALE The boss: "I'm looking for a practical vehicle that's also good for the environment." "I recommend the envirocrusher-4. It weights 40 tons and it uses owls for fuel." The Boss: "Where I would I get that many owls?" "The engine noise stuns them. You just them up off the ground."
Sunday May 15,
2005
Tags 400 per hour, expensive, ball rolling, process using, recommendations
Transcript
The Boss: Mister Dogbert has agreed to consult for $400 per hour. "I know it's expensive but you get what you pay for." "Let's get the ball rolling." "My first question is: what process will you be using to arrive at your recommendations?" Dogbert: "a..." "very...slow one..."
Saturday May 14,
2005
Tags stress hump, goes away, all in mind
Transcript
Could I have a few days off to see if my stress hump goes away? The boss: "Stress is all in your mind. I should fire you and your hump right now for even asking!" Dilbert: "Just because he said no?" new guy: "It was the way he said it."
Friday May 13,
2005
Tags new guy, punch back, stress hump, karate chop
Transcript
The New Guy "Hey, new guy, that's quite a stress hump you have there maybe I can fix it." "Punch Yaaa!!" "Wow!! It's gone! Does that always work?" "I dunno. To be honest, I just wanted to punch it."
Thursday May 12,
2005
Tags new guy, strong culture, doing teask, unimaginable, getting suckers, to do our work
Transcript
The New Guy" "We have a strong culture of team--work here." "While you're doing those easy tasks, I'll be off doing assignments of unimaginable diffuculty." Dilbert: "Did anyone warn you that we have a strong culture of getting suckers to do our work?"
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