May 2020 Comic Strips - Page 2

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Mumble Ventriloquists

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Mumble Ventriloquists - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anger, boss, meetings, office workers, sarcasm, dumb

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Voice: That is a dumb idea, you pointy-haired fool. Boss: Who mumbled that? I can't tell with your face masks. Voice: Meetings just got a lot more fun. Boss: Who is saying that???

High Fives

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High Fives - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, hygiene, life, office workers, virus, pandemic, social distancing

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Boss: To avoid spreading viruses, there will be no shaking hands in the workplace. That custom has been replaced by uncomfortable body language and awkward banter about not shaking hands. Dilbert: Are high-fives still okay? Boss: Yes, we don't care if those people live or die.

No Lunch With You

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No Lunch With You - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags diseases, lunch, office workers, rejection, virus, pandemic, invitation, social distancing

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Dilbert: Would you like to join me for lunch? Woman: I don't even want to be in the same zip code as your diseased mouth. No offense. Dilbert: None taken.

Makeup Under Mask

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Makeup Under Mask  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags makeup, masks, offended, office workers, pandemic, human resources

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Dilbert: Do you wear makeup under the mask where no one can see it? Or do you leave your snout area all pale and pimply? Tina: Stop imagining me unmasked. Dilbert: I'll report myself to human resources.

Asok Meditates

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Asok Meditates  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags coffee, psychology, sarcasm, business, meditation, think, work, co-worker, technology, enlightenment

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asok: have you ever tried meditating? wally: sounds like a lot of work. asok: it is the opposite of work. all you have to do is sit in one place and think of nothing in particular. wally: can i drink coffee at the same time. asok: that is not recommended. wally: in other words, meditating is what i already do, but without the advantage of coffee? asok: perhaps you have already achieved enlightenment. wally: feels that way to me.

Dilbert Has To Upgrade Server

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Dilbert Has To Upgrade Server - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags coronavirus, business, technology, network, upgrade, server, boss, latency, locks, garage, sleep, face mask, work from home

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dilbert wearing face mask and carrying computer bag: i'm going into the office to upgrade a server. according to my boss, reducing network latency is more important than my life. can i depend on you to not change the locks while i'm gone? dogbert: only if you sleep in the garage.

No Interruptions At Home

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No Interruptions At Home - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, business, working, home, workday, productivity, anger, annoying, bowel, problems

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dilbert sitting on couch with dogbert: i like working from home. i can do eight hours of work in one hour because no one is interrupting me. dogbert yelling: i'm trying to work here! dilbert: did i tell you about my bowel problems? dogbert: go away!

Placebo Effect New

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Placebo Effect   New - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, consultant, science, explain, ancecdotal, evidence, misleading, placebo, effect

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dilbert: why do you keep explaining to me how science works when you know i already know? sciencesplainer: did you know anecdotal evidence can be misleading? dilbert yelling: yes!!! i knew that!!! sciencesplainer: have you ever heard of the placebo effect? dilbert: GAAAA!!!

Sciencesplainer Explains Science New

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Sciencesplainer Explains Science   New - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, sciencesplainer, data, report, anecdotal, controlled, study, accurate, face mask

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the sciencesplainer dilbert wearing face mask: we don't have any data yet, but we are hearing good reports. sciencesplainer: those reports are anecdotal. you need a controlled study to be certain. dilbert distressed: literally everyone already knows that. sciencesplainer: sure. but did you know accurate data are better than bad data?

Sciencesplainer New

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Sciencesplainer   New  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sarcasm, business, sciencesplainer, meetings, interrupt, condescending, science

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boss in meeting wearing face mask: i hired a sciencesplainer for our meetings. he'll interrupt us every ten minutes to explain, in a condescending way, how science works. dilbert wearing face mask: why do we need that? boss: it's just something we do.