May 2021 Comic Strips - Page 3

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Elbonian Sweat Shops

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Elbonian Sweat Shops - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, ignorance, blowback, press release, condemn, elbonia, sweatshop, issue, products, defense

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boss: we're getting major blowback on social media for your press release condemning elbonian sweatshop labor. ceo: it's an important issue. boss: it's also how we make all of our products. ceo: in my defense, someone should have told me that.

Ceo Speaks Out

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Ceo Speaks Out - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, political issues, stock, stock market, plunged, voice, injustice, bonus, million, dollars, Advice

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catbert: our stock plunged 30% because you spoke out on a political issue. ceo: no one can silence my voice when i see a great injustice. catbert: this will cost you your entire bonus of $10 million. ceo: what if i agree to never speak again?

C Level Sacrifice

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C Level Sacrifice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, political issues, stock market, technology, brand, board, fire, Politics, ruin, human, sacrifice, chief technology officer, performance, employment

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catbert: the board wants to fire you for speaking out about politics and ruining our brand. ceo: ask if they'll accept a c-level human sacrifice instead. catbert: they said yes. ceo: now fire my cto and tell him it's something about his performance.

Forty Minutes Late

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Forty Minutes Late - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, jerk, late, minutes, punish, sarcasm, technology, waiting, cell phone

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voice from Dilbert's cell phone: i'll be forty minutes late. dilbert: i just wasted twenty minutes waiting! why didn't you tell me as soon as you knew? voice from phone: because i knew you would be a jerk about it. so i punished you. dilbert: oh.

Ted Is Great But Not Enough

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Ted Is Great But Not Enough  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, comparison, managers & supervisors, performance, employment, exceptional, fired, universe, sense, complain, reverse psychology

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boss: ted, your performance this year has been exceptional. but everyone else was even better, so...you're fired. ted: in what universe does that even make sense? boss: you also complain too much.

Nominate A Coworker

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Nominate A Coworker - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, months, recommendations, co-workers, office workers, recognize, superior, work, nominated, honest, idea, coffee

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boss: two months ago, i asked you all for recommendations on co-workers who should be recognized for superior work. on day one, you all nominated yourselves. since then it has been quiet. dilbert: if i'm being honest, it wasn't one of your brightest ideas.

Opposition Research

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Opposition Research - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, managers & supervisors, accomplishments, year, opposition, research, co-workers, ranking, employees, idea

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wally: it might seem as though i accomplished very little this year. and that's true. but i also have a trove of opposition research on my co-workers. boss: what? wally: ranking employees against one another was your best idea ever.

Dilbert Makes A Friend

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Dilbert Makes A Friend - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, work, news, friend, social media, monster, check, fooled, posts

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dilbert and dogbert at home. dilbert: good news. i made a friend at work. dogbert: have you checked his social media posts? dilbert yelling: he's a monster! dogbert: that's why we check.

Men Are Stupid Pigs

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Men Are Stupid Pigs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, complaint, office, stupid, pigs, Men, specific, i.q., visayan warty

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tina: i have a complaint about the men in the office. catbert: all of them? tina: yes, they're all stupid pigs. catbert: can you be more specific? tina: okay, they're basically visayan warty pigs in the i.q. range of 20 to 40.

Chewing A Pen

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Chewing A Pen - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, business, video call, camera, chewing, pen, house, nose, address

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alice on video call. alice: please stop leaning into the camera while chewing the end of your pen. it makes me want to drive to your house and shove that pen up your nose. male office worker: but you won't do that, right? alice: what's your address?