May 2005 Comic Strips - Page 3
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Character
Wednesday May 11,
2005
Tags associate with, cjhose, associate, lazy people, new guy
Transcript
The New Employee "Maybe if I make a friend at work it will reduce my stress hump." "I must choose carefully because I will be judged by the people I associate with." "Hi. I'm the new guy." "The lazy people have found each other."
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Tuesday May 10,
2005
Tags stress hump, no asignment, no compeer no freinds, resist, the hump
Transcript
The New Employee "No assignment...no computer...no friends to talk to..." "It's just me and this huge stress hump." "Wazzup?" "Must...resist...urge...to name the hump...and talk to it."
Monday May 09,
2005
Tags employee orientation, where to start, busy, back, stress, website, technology
Transcript
First Day on the Job "Employee orientation was great! Now where do you want me to start!" "I'm kind of busy. Maybe you could look at our Web site and guess what you should be doing." "Gaaa!!! What happened to my back???" "Stress, you get used to it."
Sunday May 08,
2005
Tags audit, 150 million, software system, scrap entire thing, worthless, norma software system, clever combo, tweak it, sell the zeros, few minutes
Transcript
Dogbert: "I completed the audit of your new $150 million software system." "I recommend that you scrap the entire thing." "What?!! How could the entire thing be worthless?" "Well, your normal software system would be a clever combination of ones and zeros." "Yours is all ones." "There must be some way to tweak it until it works." "My company can sell you all the zeros you need. But you'll have to arrange them yorself." "Whe you have a few minutes, I have a little assignment for you."
Saturday May 07,
2005
Tags attorney, contact, cubicle opened, dividing up workspace, eyebrows, my client, prove, naked, got him for everything, legal
Transcript
"A cubicle vacancy opened up, so I'll be moving out of here." "My attorney will contac you about dividing up our workspace property." "Next, can you proves that you have both eyebrows before you met my client?"
Friday May 06,
2005
Tags evil director, campiagn, employee happiness, forbidden fruit, no dating emplyees, date each other
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources AS part of my ongoing campaign against employee happiness.." "Employees are not allowed to date each other." "Now you're forbidden fruit...yummmy." "Stay back, rule-breaker."
Thursday May 05,
2005
Tags share cubicle, date you, incredible time together, if it didn't work
Transcript
"It's too bad that we share a cubicle. Otherwise I'd date you." "If it didn't work out, we'd have to see each other every day." "...Always reminded of our incredible time together." "Where's the bad?!! Where's the bad?!!"
Wednesday May 04,
2005
Tags date co owrker, anything has pulse, bed judgement, restraining orders
Transcript
"Should I date a coworker?" "You should date anything that has a pulse, bad judgement and no restraining orders against you." "But she has to be hot." "Settle for "still warm.""
Tuesday May 03,
2005
Tags sharing cubicle, one chair, sit on lap, star trek
Transcript
I hope you don't mind that I'll be sharing your cubicle. "Umm...I don't mind." "There's only one chair. Do you mind if I sit on your lap?" "Umm...I don't mind. I can't imagine how this could be better." "Which one of the Star Trek series did you like best?"
Monday May 02,
2005
Tags share cubicle, outrageous, fight, board of directors, importance of teamwork
Transcript
The Boss: "Dilbert, we're low on space. You'll have to share your cubicle." Dilbert: "This is outrageous! I will fight this all the way to the board of directors!" share cubicle,"Hola. My name is Lola." "But then I remembered the importance of teamwork."
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