June 2007 Comic Strips - Page 1
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Character
Friday June 01,
2007
Tags elbonian, factory, million dollars, competition, office, rebel attack
Transcript
Dilbert: Rebels have threatened to attack our Elbonian factory unless we give them a million dollars. The Boss: "That's outrageous! Tell them their competition offered to not attack us for half that price." Negotiations begin Elbonian: "That wouldn't even cover our costs of not attacking!"
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Saturday June 02,
2007
Tags rebel negotiation, table, room water, pool, senior discount, observational humour, high price
Transcript
Rebel negotiations Dilbert: "Your price to not attack our Elbonian factory is too high." Elbonian: "We can give you the senior citizen discount." *snort* Dilbert: "That's just mean." Elbonian: "Sorry. I'll switch to more observational humor."
Monday June 04,
2007
Tags factory, elbonia, stock swap, reached agreement, rebels, company value, terrorits, indirectly
Transcript
Dilbert: "I reached an agreement with the rebels so they won't attack our factory in Elbonia." "It's a stock swap. Every time they collect a ransom, the value of our company will increase." The Boss: "Doesn't that make us terrorists?" Dilbert: "Very indirectly."
Tuesday June 05,
2007
Tags funding terrorists, indirectly, bed kind, rebels, brainwashed, compnay, money, iran, power point
Transcript
dogcart: I heard your company is funding terrorists. Dilbert: "Very indirectly." "And they aren't the bad kind of terrorists. They're more like rebels who sometimes do terrorist things." Dogbert: "How did they brainwash you so fast?" Dilbert: "Iran supplied them with PowerPoint."
Wednesday June 06,
2007
Tags new dress code, consolidating, offcies, 20 people cubicle, impossible, thin film pil, no clothes, bad conditions, worst place work, awards, demoralize, inhumane, horrid conditions
Transcript
Catbert: The new dress code is a thin film of oil. "We're consolidating offices and we need to fit twenty people in each cubicle." Dilbert: "They've pretty much given up on winning one of those awards for best places to work."
Thursday June 07,
2007
Tags managing, easier, awards for best places, work, handle situation, losers
Transcript
The Boss: Managing is a lot easier now that we've given up on winning one of those 'Best Places to Work' awards. Dilbert: "Do you have a minute?" The Boss: "Not for losers." "There was a time when I wouldn't have known how to handle that situation."
Friday June 08,
2007
Tags happy birthday, 50 years old, entire life, delusional thing, old man, office, computer, aging, dementia, life changes, technology
Transcript
Dilbert: "Happy birthday. What's it feel like to be 50?" "It's great! I've never felt better in my entire life!" "So it's sort of a delusional thing?" "Yes, luckily."
Saturday June 09,
2007
Tags software, budget, computer, tiny mittens, thermometer, hell, your turn, nice guy, intern, abused, mean coworkers, technology, engineering
Transcript
Asok: I need this software to do my job. The Boss: "The software budget is spent. Just share a computer with someone who has this software." Alice: "Why don't you take your tiny mittens and a thermometer to hell and wait for a sign that it's your turn."
Monday June 11,
2007
Tags mapped and gapped, consolidate, program of work, maximize synergy, capture and optimize, resource utilization, requirements
Transcript
Wally: "This week I mapped and gapped the requirements to consolidate everything into a program of work..." "...to maximize synergy capture and optimize our resource utilization." "If any of that sounded like work, I'll do some more of it next week."
Tuesday June 12,
2007
Tags ceo, go fatser, set tone, control, opinions are treason, name calling, intimidation, corporations, little guy, meeting, tone of intimidation, condescending, business
Transcript
CEO Visit CEO: "My meetings go faster when I set the tone." "Opinions are treason." "Do you have any opinions, Doofy?"

