June 1997 Comic Strips - Page 2

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags project caribou, walls project, final design, now, Wally, thimble, morale in thimble

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Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Give me a final design for Project Caribou by Tuesday." Dilbert replies, "That's Wally's project." The Boss says, "I know, but I'm thinking about it now and Wally isn't in the room." The Boss says, "Tell Wally it's your project now." Dilbert says, "Do you see this thimble? I keep my morale in it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, invited to worthless meetings, say no, sense of self, can't be bothered

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Dilbert says, "Dogbert, I need your help. I keep getting invited to worthless meetings and I can't say no." Dilbert continues, "YOU can say no to anything. You have such a clearly defined sense of self-interest." Dilbert asks, "Will you teach me to be like you?" Dogbert replies, "Nope . . . can't be bothered."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Catbert, evil hr director, complaints, unnecessary, meetings, Family, ridiculous

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Tina sits across from Catbert's desk. Catbert says, "People are complaining that you schedule unnecessary meetings as a substitute for a family." Tina replies, "That's ridiculous! Come to my next meeting and see for yourself." Catbert says, "Okay, I will." Tina tells Dilbert, "I got us a family cat. How was your day, dear?" Dilbert leans on his desk and sobs.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags four hour meeting, surrogate social life, bring chips, wish, had a spine

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Tina stands behind Asok's desk and says, "You're invited to a four-hour meeting, Asok." Asok looks at the agenda and says, "Tina, it would seem that all of your meetings have no purpose other than to provide you with a surrogate social life." Tina asks, "Can you bring chips?" Asok says, "I wish, I wish, I wish I had a spine."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags two hour meeting, friday night, tina, no personal life, useless meetings, void, insane, have a meeting

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Tina tells Dilbert and Wally, "I scheduled a two-hour T.H.N.P.L. meeting for seven o'clock on Friday night." Tina explains, "T.H.N.P.L stands for 'Tina has no personal life.' I'm scheduling useless meetings to fill the void in my life." Dilbert says, "Tina, this is insane." Tina asks, "Are you suggesting we have a meeting to discuss it? Is Saturday okay?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags attractive, body language, employee satisfaction, extent of feelings, fake happiness, impending reorganization, Lottery, marketing feild, new rules, not motivated, paycheck, sarcastic, survey, unprofessional, work

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The caption says, "Asok the Intern explains the new rules of body language." Asok smiles and says, "Fake happiness." The caption says, "This means: I am not motivated by the size of my paycheck." Asok looks at his paycheck and sobs loudly. The caption says, "This means: I am slightly concerned about the impending reorganization." Asok shivers and looks frightened. The caption says, "This means: I have decided to work in the marketing field." Asok sticks out his tongue and turns his head in a "counter-clockwise spin." The caption says, "This means: I am being sarcastic." Asok says, "Oh, THERE'S a good plan." The caption says, "Note lips." The caption says, "This means: The recent employee satisfaction survey has not captured the extent of my feelings." Asok hangs in a noose. The caption says, "This means: I think you are attractive but it would be very unprofessional to show it." Asok looks at a woman and his eyes pop out of his head. The caption says, "This means: My lottery investment paid off." Asok gives the Boss a wedgie.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, clone boss, email message, no knowledge, perspective, possible, no experience

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Dilbert tells Wally, "Someday it will be possible to clone or boss." Wally replies, "But the clone would have no experience and no knowledge." The Boss tells them, "I just sent an e-mail message to Japan. I don't know the language so I took your advice and typed it all in caps." Dilbert says, "Wow. That put it all in perspective."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags no on fired, occasional beating, statistical clustering, suicides, voting the customer, buying product

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Dilbert and Kenny sit at a conference table. Kenny tells a customer, "No one has ever been fired for buying our product!" Dilbert adds, "That's true." Dilbert says, "There IS the occasional savage beating . . . and more than our share of suicides . . ." Kenny looks angry. Dilbert continues, "But that has 'statistical clustering' written all over it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags brought dilbert, competitors product, cover cost, cup of coffee, makes product special, visiting the customer, deceptive advertising

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Kenny and Dilbert sit at a conference table with a customer. Kenny tells the man, "I brought Dilbert to explain what makes our product special." Dilbert says, "It's exactly like our competitor's product except we charge more to cover the cost of our deceptive advertising." The man gets up and leaves the room. Dilbert says, "While you're up, could you get me a cup of coffee?" Kenny looks angry.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hearty slap, practice swings, visiting the customer, smile, less follow thorugh, aim higher, trans suddenly

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Kenny tells Dilbert, "When I introduce you to the customer, smile and give him a hearty slap on the back." Kenny says, "Get ready. Here he comes." Dilbert thinks, "I'd better take some practice swings." The customer lies on the ground. Kenny tells Dilbert, "Next time, less follow-through, aim higher, and if he turns around suddenly, hold off." Dilbert says, "Sorry."