June 2020 Comic Strips - Page 2
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Character
Saturday June 20,
2020
An Empty Offce
Tags freedom, hygiene, office, office workers, telecommute
Transcript
Dilbert: The office is a beautiful place when everyone else is working from home. No distractions, private bathroom, and I no longer need to suppress my bodily noises. Brraaaap! Freedom!
Friday June 19,
2020
Dilbert Doesn't Believe In Safety
Tags employees, office workers, safety, sarcasm, team
Transcript
Tina: Ugh, Dilbert is on the project team? That guy doesn't believe in safety. Man: Just out of curiosity, what evidence of that extremely weird allegation have you seen? Tina: What evidence do you have that you exist? See? Anyone can do that.
Thursday June 18,
2020
Dogbert Teaches Safety
Tags office workers, safety, training, simple, corporate
Transcript
Dogbert: Welcome to Dogbert's corporate safety training. Don't touch anything, don't move around, and don't talk to anyone, ever! Thanks for coming. Dilbert: That's the whole class? Dogbert: Don't blame me for being good at summarizing.
Wednesday June 17,
2020
Sarcastic About Safety
Tags boss, education, office workers, safety, sarcasm, training
Transcript
Boss: I hear you were being sarcastic about safety. Obviously, you don't take safety seriously, so I have to send you to a safety re-education camp for a week. Dilbert: That will totally fix this problem. Boss: You just bought yourself an extra week.
Tuesday June 16,
2020
Dilbert Cares Not For Safety
Tags argument, office workers, safety, sarcasm
Transcript
Dilbert: ...And we can get that all installed in thirty days. Man: Why do you not care about safety? Dilbert: Literally everyone cares about safety. Man: Then why didn't you mention it? DIlbert: Blah, blah, safety. Happy? "Continued..."
Monday June 15,
2020
Real Data
Tags decision, office workers, sarcasm, dumb, facts
Transcript
Man: We need to make decisions based on real data! Dilbert: Who do you imagine disagrees with that obvious statement? Man: Uh-oh. I just realized I'm dumb and never knew it. Dilbert: I hear it can sneak up on you.
Sunday June 14,
2020
Need Boss To Make Decision
Tags argument, boss, decision, engineering, knowledge, marketing, office workers, sarcasm, technology
Transcript
Dilbert: We need your help making a decision. Jeff doesn't understand my product strategy because he isn't an engineer. And I don't understand any of his marketing nonsense. That's why we came to you. Boss: Because I understand both marketing and engineering? Dilbert: No, it's because you don't understand either one. We didn't have a coin to flip, and your decisions are totally random, so... Boss: Maybe you could describe the situation. Dilbert: I don't see how that helps.
Saturday June 13,
2020
Emergency Project
Tags boring, boss, emergency, excuses, office workers, technology, work
Transcript
Dilbert: Do you have any emergencies for me to work on? Boss: I do. Dilbert: Perfect! I needed an excuse to avoid working on the boring parts of my job. Boss: I also need your status report by end of day. Dilbert: I would totally do that if not for this darned emergency.
Friday June 12,
2020
Great Idea
Tags boss, idea, office workers, sarcasm, trick, truth, evidence
Transcript
Boss: I have a great idea. Let's create a google document that we can all update. Dilbert: That is exactly the idea I suggested to you yesterday. Boss: You can't prove that. Dilbert: That was only true until I learned to wear a wire.
Thursday June 11,
2020
Better Fast Than Good
Tags boss, email, office workers, sadness, sarcasm, time, truth
Transcript
Dilbert: I got your email, but I didn't have time to include your upgrades on my analysis. It's better to be timely than right because our boss can't judge the quality of our work, but he knows when it's late. Alice: Why is it that everything true is also sad? Dilbert: That's how the truth works.
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